more to come tomorrow
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“Vell vell Mista Hard, looks like you’re a bit…how can I put zis…TIED UP har har har!” bellowed Colonel Von Krutz in his long black trench coat waving a German Luger pistol in his robotic hand.
Jake Hard, Private Detective, was chained to a metal pole outside some military barracks with a firing squad of five men with guns poised squarely on him. Squirming next to Colonel Von Krutz was the busty and beautiful millionaire scientist Dorothy Pussywillow, whose arm was being held onto by Von Krutz. She struggled to get free of Von Krutz grasp but it was of little use.
“Any last vords Mista Hard?” quipped Von Krutz with a cruel smile.
“Yes, get better chains”
With these words Jake broke free of his chains with his bare hands.
“GUARDZ FREI FREI!” yelled Von Krutz.
Jake jumped into the air dodging bullets in the process that were being fired at him by the firing squad. He delivered a round house kick to one of the guards which sent him flying into another guard and so forth causing a domino effect. Von Krutz aimed at Jake with his Luger but Jake quickly picked up a subdued guard off the ground and threw him at Von Krutz. Von Krutz was knocked to the ground by the thrown guard.
Dorothy ran up to Jake and kissed him passionately. Von Krutz and the guards quickly scrambled to their feet and aimed their guns at Jake and Dorothy. Dorothy gasped in fright.
“Don’t worry hun, I’ve got protection.” said Jake activating his deflector belt.
A shower of bullets ricocheted off Jake’s deflector field. The guards fired round after round but were soon left with no more ammo.
“Got a toothpick cutey?”
Dorothy withdrew a toothpick from under her silk red dress and handed it to Jake. Jake spied Von Krutz reloading his Luger. Jake threw the toothpick at Von Krutz and decapitated him. The guards ran away in horror.
“Oh Jake!” cooed Dorothy as she flung herself in his arms and kissed him passionately. Jake was feeling really happy now.
“Take me up the arse!” Dorothy cried.
Then everything seemed to melt.
VIRTUAL REALITY SIMULATION HALTED. PLEASE PAY 1000 CREDITS TO CONTINUE
“Fuck!” yelled Jake.