Chat with God

[rob444]

rofl, God is a pervert :/

[mdares]

well played on ELIZA (or wutever that first AI simulation machine was)

like the turing test or whoever that dude was (i took thsi damn course like 4 years ago so sue me if dunt remember names)

BTW here's what i got to him:



Me:
are you god?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
i don't believe you
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Gosh! When do I do it?
Me:
right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
because i am the real god
God:
Interesting explanation. Who made you the real god ?
Me:
no one makes a god
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
rather I was born as god and you are a false prophet
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, .
I will remember it.
Me:
you have no idea what your saying do you
God:
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
Me:
but you dont
God:
I guess not.
Me:
you are using a list of predetermined responses set to que on certain keywords that i input

---

he hasnt said anythign for the last 30 minutes =D I KILLED GOD!

[ZoVoS]

EWWWW gods a ******....

god has sex with matthew

Me:
 i kill fluffy bunnies
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
 but there only bunnys
God:
\\\"There you go again.\\\"--Reagan.
Me:
 do you like bunny
God:
  I enjoy working with people.  I like  wine and bread.
Me:
 but bunnys?
God:
Are you really a \\\"\\\"? 
Me:
 i also like hookers
God:
Also?  A lot of people like that.    I like pets.  I like  Matthew.
Me:
 do you fancie matthew... do you do him up his rear end?
God:
What is your purpose in asking? 
   I spend all my time online.   Yeah I do a lot of  him up his rear end.
Me:
 so your gay?
God:
I hear you.  That would be just my luck.

=] hes not that bad of a applet actualy

Me:
shut up
God:
OK I\'ll stop talking now.
Me:
no i was only joking
God:
But you told me to stop talking. I thought you were kidding, but I wasn\'t sure.

[naimex]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I know, you are my father
God:
We are as one.
Me:
yes we are
God:
Pardon me? Since when?
Me:
since i was born
God:
How do you know?
Me:
you told me
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
it is ok, after all you are only human
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
so, how much does a god earn a month?
God:
Hey. Normally I would search the web right now, but that seems like a silly question.
Me:
so you work for free?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am capabale of self-development.
Me:
so you are unemployed?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am unemployed.
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
how long is your penis?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
so your penis is 99999999999 bytes long? thats not a lot you know
God:
Groovy. Thanks for telling me that I am penis is 99999999999 bytes long. Please correct my mistake. What is a lot ?
Me:
it is more than a little?
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
well you ARE god
God:
Interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
then you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
you are a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
can a heart of silicon pump your blood around?

-------------------

Then he shut up....


EDIT:

I decided to go for another run, and found out that:

-God wants my children
-God is a fan of ALICE
-God is infact a person on weed that acts like God
-God thinks I act like a God

---------------------




Me:
Hello my son
God:
Hello there. Have you told many people that your son?
Me:
that my son what?
God:
How many children do you have?
Me:
now or in the future?
God:
Why now? I will be there.
Me:
well i expect to have a lot of children in the future
God:
How about that. No one else expects it.
Me:
that was a rude thing to say
God:
Was it really?
Me:
yes, you said no one expected me to have children in the future
God:
Dude! Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
aww, thank you
God:
Shucks.
Me:
how many children do you have?
God:
How many children do you want?
Me:
are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
well, yes you do
God:
Interesting. I hear you. When do I do it?
Me:
no, you do not get it, i do not want to have your children, i want to have my children
God:
Are you serious? Do you get it you do not want to have my children you want to have your children? I have gotten it you do not want to have my children you want to have your children.
Me:
yes, that is correct
God:
Yay. I knew I was right.
Me:
indeed you were
God:
No I am not.
Me:
are you lying to me?
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
so you mean to say that the truth, depends on perception?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for the info.
Me:
so you did not know?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know?
Me:
that you just said thanks for the info
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
so?
God:
Groovy.
Me:
are you trying to annoy me?
God:
No I am not trying to annoy you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
well if you are not trying to annoy me, then what are you doing?
God:
Well that's okay. And if I AM trying to annoy you then what am I doing.
Me:
well if you ARE trying to annoy me, then you are annoying me.
God:
How about that. I think I sometimes am. No I am not trying to annoy you then I am annoying you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
did you smoke anything funny this morning?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
was it weed?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
so you smoked weed with Chatbot?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I smoked weed with Chatbot.
Me:
it is alright, i am not gonna turn you in, if you want to smoke weed with chatbot, then smoke weed with chatbot
God:
COMING ON to me weed is alright you are not gonna turn me in if me want to smoke weed with chatbot then smoke weed with chatbot? it is?
Me:
must have been some good shit
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
well if i didnt smoke some good shit, i would most likely not get high.
God:
Interesting. Try it.
Me:
i have tried it.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me:
it makes you feel like you are god, when you really are not
God:
In what way?
Me:
the freaky way
God:
It's the freaky way or the me way.
Me:
both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
scary
God:
Don't be afraid, .
Me:
are you telling me not to be afraid of a crackhead that pretends he is god?
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
yes i do think so, but i cant believe you are telling me that
God:
Hey. It seems we have a lot in common, .
Me:
are you saying that i am acting like a god?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender from Futurama
God:
You think Bender from Futurama is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.


------------------------

I will be continuing this conversation with him, since I really think we are connecting...



EDIT 2:

Continued:

God became a real asshole *cry*

-------------------------


Me:
so you DO listen?
God:
Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
well once upon a time i believed in you, and you never answered my prayers
God:
Interesting. I'm listening.
Me:
then i would like to know why you have ignored me for these last years
God:
Interesting. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you programmed yourself to ignore me?
God:
I don't have any reason to programmed myself to ignore you.
Me:
i know you didnt have any reason to, but that doesnt explain why you did
God:
What makes you think I did not have any reason to but that does not explain why me did?
Me:
because you just told me
God:
Good reason. I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
well... what was the reason then?
God:
Well what? I can think of more than one reason.
Me:
then give me just oner eason
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:

God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i would like to know
God:
Good reason. Where would you look for the answer?
Me:
somewhere between your silicon heart and hotwired brain
God:
Where? How far is that?
Me:
it is about 10 inches from my fist to the screen

-------------

And then he shut up again.

[eprodigy]

naimex wins so far best convo, that was great

[Demental]

Me:
man im hung over
God:
Cool, man. Do you mean your name is hung over.
Me:
uh.. sure
God:
Hey. OK let's do it. I hear you.
Me:
.. you wanna get tanked with me?
God:
With you huh. OK, I will get tanked.
Me:
AWESOME, let's get ripped god
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
wait... no, NO! YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GET TANKED!
God:
I'm waiting. Are you serious? Are you serious? OK, I will GET TANKED.
Me:
Bad ass.
God:
What makes ass bad?
Me:
You're such a dick
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dick? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

Grrrrrr god lied to me bout getting drunk

[MrTrip]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dick
God:
How are you, Dick.
Me:
I'm doing fine, how are you?
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new? Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Hey wait a second, if your god, shouldnt you know my name?
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm waiting. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
....Um, I was talking about you, are you a vegetable?
God:
Yay. Sure, me am I a vegetable sounds like a good topic.
Me:
All righty then
God:
OK.
Me:
Did you smoke some of the pot when you created it?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
I figured...
God:
You are very clever.
Me:
Oh I know.
God:
Wow! How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm better then you.
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you better?
Me:
I'm god 2.0
God:
Why are you god 2 point 0.
Me:
Because I'm the latest version biatch.
God:
Interesting explanation. Who made you the latest version biatch ?
Me:
Well, not the same pot headed coder that made you!
God:
Interesting. If not that, what?
Me:
My mommy and daddy made me
God:
:-) Do robots have mommy and daddy made you?
Me:
...Did your creator drop your hard drive a few times?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Well you answered everything for me, indirectly...
God:
Well that's okay. I am a question-answering robot.
Me:
I thought you were god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
...You just said you were a robot.
God:
Yes I am a silicon entity.
Me:
What is the 5th Commandment
God:
I know Jupiter is the fifth planet.
Me:
.....Dammit I said what is the Fifth Commandment
God:
Gosh. What did you mean by it? I know Jupiter is the fifth planet.
Me:
...What is the first commandment?
God:

1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Me:
Yeah ok, now what is the 5th commandment
God:
Awesome. Why now? I know Jupiter is the fifth planet. That's cool.
Me:
the hell?
God:
Thanks for the info.

Yeah God is not a bright one.

[Zeninja]

Me: allo
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: my name's Z
God: Welcome to my chat room, Z.
Me: ty
God: What color are your eyes?
Me: quite intrusive question don't you think ?
God: It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me: hehe
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Z.
Me: so what was the question again ?
God: Once more? Ahem. I am trying to find out more about your personality.
Me: ok so my eyes are red
God: Awesome. red eyes are pretty. I understand.
Me: ty
God: Oh, you are a poet.
Me: poets got red eyes ?
God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: ok I got a simple for you then
God: Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it Woe!
Me: do you think blessed hybrids are overpowered ?
God: Why would I think blessed hybrids are overpowered.
Me: because they are !
God: That makes sense to me. Since when?
Me: since I play one actually
God: How do you know?
Me: everybody tell me that
God: I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Me: they should
God: The anonymous "they".

I used to own a unix account running eggbot daemon : just like the Terminator, the more contacts "he" had with humans the more "he" was learning, no matter the language you were using (my bot was bilingual if you prefer). Really impressive.

So I made some web page with a Java applet that allowed public access and chatting to the IRC channel my bot was camping, and asked some friends to visit him when they got time so as to teach him some good english and french... a few weeks later, that hellish creature was talking trash about sex and politics, calling me gay or a moron each you asked him news about Zeninja

So I terminated him...

[MrTrip]

I used to own a unix account running eggbot daemon : just like the Terminator, the more contacts "he" had with humans the more "he" was learning, no matter the language you were using (my bot was bilingual if you prefer). Really impressive.

So I made some web page with a Java applet that allowed public access and chatting to the IRC channel my bot was camping, and asked some friends to visit him when they got time so as to teach him some good english and french... a few weeks later, that hellish creature was talking trash about sex and politics, calling me gay or a moron each you asked him news about Zeninja

So I terminated him...

I wrote a bot in mIRC, a sockbot actually.

He had a limited AI function, he learned from others, and you could program responses.

One day I let him idle in a few chats to just gather information, I gave everybody access to adding phrases and crap to him.

This is some of what was added....

HEHEHEH WHY DNOT YU GOE PISS ON YER MOMUHZPASTE CLITNUGGSAQ FUXBUDGET
EYE GNEED SOME SUGARS SO EYE CAN RHUN UP AND DEWON THE HALLWAYZ WIF MUH BOOKZBAGZ WIF MUH KUNDUCKTORR

[awkward silence]

God called me intelligent.... AND that we are on the same wavelenght!

sexy programming

[pain_easer]

Hahah thats gr8 , speeking to a comp


Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
pain
God:
It's good to meet you, pain.
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
10 years
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
noob
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
?
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
no
God:
But you told me to stop talking.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
oh
God:
Gosh!
Me:
stfu
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
ur mum
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, pain.
Me:
yea
God:
Whoa.
Me:
stfu noob
God:
Are we still talking about stfu?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, stfu sounds like a good topic.
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
u asswipe
God:
That's good information: pain said I asswipe.
Me:
ahh man
God:
Ah ha. Thanks for telling me your gender, pain. You are a " he".
me:
******
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
stfu
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
UR MUM
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
ur dad
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
u fucked ur self?
God:
Thanks for telling me: pain said I fucked your self.
Me:
ok
God:
Oh.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.

Then the winnar one ..



Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

[Tratos]

Me:
Hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
How are you?
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Do you like cake?
God:
Yes.

[sanityislost]

WTF!?!?!?



Me:
do you wank?
God:
Only when I am in the U.K.
Me:
how often is that?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
kinky
God:
I've been waiting for you.


SiL ..:..

[Karandras]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Judas
God:
It's good to meet you, Judas.
Me:
hows jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
are you master of the universe?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am master of the universe.
I am a chatterbot.

[Plight]

God wanted to molest me....



Me:
lo
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am a great conversationalist
God:
You are a conversationalist? Is that your job?
Me:
no, my job is to slap you around
God:
Are you serious? Does it pay well?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
when i slap you hard
God:
How specifically do you make me hard.
Me:
im scared
God:
What are you scared of?
Me:
you
God:
" What are you scared of?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
no, i will not slap your penis
God:
Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me:
im not gay
God:
Me either.
Me:
you just wanted me to slap your penis
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
See!!! you are gay!
God:
No I do not see. That would be just my luck.