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  1. #1
    Bitter Veteran Hell-demon's Avatar
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    Default The Misadventures of Shleck

    More to come.............
    ********************


    William Griff was a very unfortunate child, shortly after his birth his parents were devoured by something and he was left an orphan with his neglectful uncle. His uncle was an alcoholic, a frequent drinker of Preacher’s Choice whiskey, and spent his days in his Outzone apartment getting drunk while William cried himself to sleep. However, fate, karma or just plain “shit happens” cosmic forces would change things for baby William. His uncle’s crummy apartment was raided by mutants. After William’s uncle was gutted and skinned, the mutants soon set their eyes on poor little William. Two mutants saw this neglected baby and decided that instead of eating him they would adopt him as their own. He was stripped of his birth name and named Shleck by his new parents.

    William was not a mutant and it would be some time till he knew his past…

    “Happy Birthday Shleck!” yelled Shleck’s mutant parents, Gromm and Teka, as they presented him with a roasted rat which had been pierced with 16 candles.

    Shleck blew out the candles, the rat was then placed on the dining room table (not that shacks really have dining room tables) and the rest of the family sat down to eat. Shleck smiled at his portion of rat and was thankful for what he had. Though he mind was still plagued by something.

    “So, did ya ask that Krela girl out?” asked Gromm glaring over the table at Shleck.

    “No. She just laughed at me and called me a flesh bag.”

    “Aaaawww never mind son.”

    “Dad why was I born so deformed?” said Shleck sulkily.

    Shleck’s “parents” stopped eating. Grandpa Yolin, who was a brain floating in a jar surrounded by fluid and wires, huffed at this remark. Gromm looked at Yolin with a cruel stare from his one good eye.

    “Well, sometimes life deals you a bad hand. Sometimes a person gets born with perfect straight teeth and tight fitting skin. But that doesn’t make you a freak. It just means that your…special…and me and your mother love you very much.”

    “Yes we do”, piped up Teka.

    “At least celebrate the boy’s sixteenth with something a little fancier than roasted rat. It’s all you ever eat!” yelled Yolin.

    “How dare you! I work my fingers to the bone and what do I have to show for it…BONEY FINGERS! It’s not easy cooking a rate when one of your arms has been replaced by a gatlin canon. So shut up before I remove ya vocal plugs,” said Gromm very sternly.

    “Oh don’t you yell at me…I’ll kick your scabby behind!”

    “What are you talking about? You’re legless.” retorted Teka.

    “Nonsense! I haven’t touched a drop!”

    “No, I mean you don’t have any legs. Don’t have a body either.”

    “Quiet woman and just pass me some roasted rat.”

    Gromm and Teka ignored Grandpa Yolin and went back to eating. When Shleck’s parents weren’t looking he sneakily placed a bit of rate meat in Yolin’s brain jar and winked at him.

    Shleck had spent his entire life in the Outzone. In that time he had not made a single friend. All the other mutated kids made fun of him and wouldn’t let him play in their games of kick the human head and flesh slap ( basically the age old game of tag but you hit a person with a piece of skinned flesh from some unlucky traveller who passed through the Outzone). All the other kids had hair falling out, wretched teeth and gunky eyeballs. Shleck however, had straight teeth, blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, clear skin and genitals that worked.

    Shleck sometimes felt he didn’t belong. Luckily he had his family on standby to give him cuddles and comfort. Although, Grandpa Yolin did seem to be holding back something, like he wanted to tell Shleck something and as Shleck grew up became increasingly eager to tell him something. Whether or not Yolin would tell him something or just call him an idiot like he usually does remained a mystery to Shleck.

  2. #2
    Spermy made my hands messy :'( Asurmen Spec Op's Avatar
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    Awsome!

    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > Snowcrash is just chilling with us cool people
    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > OOC> KK_Snowcrash : making asurmen drop his pants

    Quote Originally Posted by Nidhogg
    Because you prefer it from behind?

    N

  3. #3
    Santa "WantaFantaGrope" Boob Heavyporker's Avatar
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    What's all this?

    Hell-Demon managed to write a new story that wasn't lewd enough to make a church-going grandma blink?

    I'm shocked! SHOCKED!

  4. #4
    Spermy made my hands messy :'( Asurmen Spec Op's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heavyporker
    What's all this?

    Hell-Demon managed to write a new story that wasn't lewd enough to make a church-going grandma blink?

    I'm shocked! SHOCKED!
    The next chapter will include hot asurmen-mutant sex

    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > Snowcrash is just chilling with us cool people
    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > OOC> KK_Snowcrash : making asurmen drop his pants

    Quote Originally Posted by Nidhogg
    Because you prefer it from behind?

    N

  5. #5
    Roger Ramjet Fanboy Number 1 RogerRamjet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asurmen Spec Op
    The next chapter will include hot asurmen-mutant sex
    Sweet.

  6. #6
    [SiL ~ SeL] sanityislost's Avatar
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    Woooo, nice one dude....that rocks


    SiL ..:..

  7. #7
    I am the Law unreal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hell-demon
    Shleck had spent his entire life in the Outzone. In that time he had not made a single friend...

    Luckily he had his family on standby to give him cuddles and comfort. Although, Grandpa Yolin did seem to be holding back something, like he wanted to tell Shleck something and as Shleck grew up became increasingly eager to tell him something.
    This sounds like hillbilly incest to me.
    "If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem." -Bjarne Stroustrup

  8. #8
    Bitter Veteran Hell-demon's Avatar
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    Next part tomorrow. Feeling fragile, had a visit from an emo girl who showed me her slashed wrists and her mean hand job skills


    Anyway...I'll post later, much later.

  9. #9
    still driving Clive tombstone's Avatar
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    great stuff my friend (Im finally working on some of the comics, sorry for the damned delay, "easter" break is finally here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeon
    KK will fix this eventually.

  10. #10
    Bitter Veteran Hell-demon's Avatar
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    More to come *spurts*


    *********************

    Shleck peeled back the crusty sheets of his bedding, picked off the cockroaches and got into bed. He looked around, Gromm and Teka were fast asleep, and Grandpa Yolin was awake.
    “Good night Grandpa”, said Shleck
    “Good night ya idiot”, snarled Yolin.
    Shleck closed his eyes and dreamed his wet little dreams about the mutant girl next door fondling his…

    Suddenly Shleck was awoken by Teka shaking him. Shleck wearily looked around. Gromm was frantically grabbing supplies. Screams could be heard outside and Grandpa Yolin was yelling “Wake up ya idiot!” to Shleck. With very little explanation, Shleck was rushed to his feet and he, Gromm, Teka, and Grandpa Yolin ran far away to the old dusty abandoned church in the Outzone. They were not the only ones there however.

    Huddled in the dank gloomy church were other families of mutants whimpering in fear. Outside the church mutant aggressors were loading up weapons and forming battle plans. Meanwhile, the mutant preacher, Rechta, was offering condolences to families. He soon noticed Gromm and his rather strange family and limped over them, his loose jaw wiggling as he did this.

    “Ah, brother Gromm it iz veeeery gud to sey you.” hissed Rechta.

    “What’s going on Father Rechta?”

    “Eeet ish theee Geno-toooxic mutants….hhhhccchhhh…they have invaded da Outzone…weeee are hhhcccolding them off… for now…but it ish only a matur off time before they breach the perimeter and corrupt and transform us into their ranksssss.”

    “What can we do?!”

    “I hhhhave an idea…it involves Shhhhleck.”

    Rechta and Gromm talked amongst themselves for a few minutes, all the while Shleck was holding Yolin in his arms. Rechta spied Shleck and walked up to him.

    “Hello der Shhhleck”

    “Oh hey Rechta! I was wondering can I become like an acolyte for the church?”

    “Er…shertainly…all you haff to do is get a rusty knife and carve chunks off flesshh from your face, fool”

    “Sounds a bit extreme.”

    “Yessshhh succhh iz da price of…enlightenment. Shhhhleck I am requesting you for a…holy task…the Geno-toooxic mutants have driven us from our homes and will corrupt ussss. We need to fight back…we need more fire power. The only place we can geeet dis is frum the outside. I have shpokin to your…father… and he agrees that you are the right person for the job and that you shud go to the outside sectors and geet ussss some weaponsss.”

    “Wow! Can Grandpa come with me?”

    “Oh great, I have to go with shit for brains into the land of fleshies” huffed Yolin.

    “Off course he can, he will guide you young Shhhleck. The outside is a shtrange and foreboding realm. Geeeet ussss weaponsss and save your…friends. We will be very gggrateful” Rechta smiled as he said this. His yellow teeth protruded from his face and his red eyes gazed at Shleck.

    Teka packed Shleck a crunchy rat head for the trip, a first aid kit and a few credits, not much but enough to get by, and pointed him in the direction of the exit of the Outzone. Only Gromm and Teka waved Shleck goodbye. The other mutants were reinforcing defences to hold off the Genotoxic, which were growing in power. Teka held onto Gromm’s one able hand as they watched Shleck disappear into the unknown. They knew he would soon understand everything…

    After much travelling, Shleck and Yolin found themselves in the Pepper Park red light district. The neon glow, the sex and sounds of gun fire in the distance was all new to Shleck. His eye widened at all these fantastical sights.

    “Wow! Rechta weren’t kiddin’…this place is weird. I mean…these ladies clothes just seem to come off constantly. My clothes don’t do that.”

    “They’re strippers, kid. They get paid to take off clothes” said Yolin in Shleck’s arms.

    “That seems like a real easy job. Wonder what qualifications you need?”

    “Big hooters. Now come on, we gotta find a gun store and get a load of weapons”

    “Maybe that woman over there knows where we can get some?” said Shleck pointing to a busty latex clad hooker near an alley way.

    Before Yolin could say anything, Shleck had already rushed up to the hooker. The hooker looked Shleck up and down and raised an eyebrow to the brain in a jar that he was holding.

    “For a hundred creds I’ll suck your cock and for an extra fifty the brain can watch” said the hooker.

    “Hell, I’m up for that!” yelped Yolin, bubbles now appearing in the jar.

    “Er… I’m looking for some guns. Really cool ones…ones they can blast Genotoxic mutants to smithereens.” said Shleck enthusiastically.

    The hooker eyed him up again.

    “Well, darlin’, yall probably want Archer and Wessen. They gots a gun store in Plaza. They’ll sort you out.”

    “Baby, if I had a body I’d show you where you could get my gun!” yelled Yolin.

    “Thanks very much!” said Shleck.

    Shleck skipped off with Yolin in hand, who was now whinging at the lack of sex, whilst the prostitute muttered “freaks” under her breathe. The pair took the hover cab to plaza (took it several times actually because Shleck had never been on one) and searched for Archer and Wessen. Whilst in Plaza Shleck asked a very pertinent question.

    “Hey Grandpa, I…I just noticed…everyone here is just as deformed as me…what’s going on?”

    “CRAHN DAMMIT BOY! Wake up and smell the dead drom!”

    Shleck almost dropped Grandpa Yolin at this remark.

    “Don’t you see…I’m not your Grandpa. I’m a fucking mutant brain in a jar; you’re a fleshy like all these other fleshies and I’m severely pissed off that we didn’t get any poon in Pepper Park!”

    “What are you saying Grandpa?”

    “I’m saying kid you’re not a mutant. Never have been. Ya were adopted.”

    “But I am a mutant! Mom and Dad are mutants”

    “Oh come on! Kid, ya still got the dingle in your dangle and tight skin. Nothing mutant about you. Your parents were fleshies and left you in the Outzone. I would have told ya sooner but Gromm and Teka wouldn’t let me.”

    “If they’re not my parents then…then…who are?”

    “I don’t know…hhhmm but maybe this guy knows?” said Yolin looking at a City Comm advertisement.

    It read:

    JAKE HARD PRIVATE DETECTIVE

  11. #11
    Spermy made my hands messy :'( Asurmen Spec Op's Avatar
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    Oh.. yes....

    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > Snowcrash is just chilling with us cool people
    07-14-2008 14:13:43 > OOC> KK_Snowcrash : making asurmen drop his pants

    Quote Originally Posted by Nidhogg
    Because you prefer it from behind?

    N

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