Ask the guru!! ^____^

[Archeus]

Anyone seen that really bad Gamezville program on Sky1?

Ask the Guru though takes hammy acting to a new level. I think everyone here should email ask the guru about a neocron question.

The secret is to ask a small question. I reckon if enough of us do it they will give out at least one. So give it a try :D

guru@gamezville.tv

Here are some questions you can ask.

- Dear Guru what is the receipe for gamma bones in Neocron?

- Guru in Neocron where is the best place to hunt droms.

- Oh mighty Guru please tell me the secret location of the kami soliders in neocron.

- Dear Guru where is the secret entrance into Neocron city?

- Dear Guru where can I find a poker in neocron at 6am GMT time on Pluto?

- Guru how do I get to the big yellow ball in Neocron?

- Guru I am too lazy to level off sewer bees in Neocron. Tell me how to cap my character please.

- Yo Guru I have my girlfriend in neocron coming over to my new Via Rossa apartment for a meal but I do not how to cook nigiri sushi. Please can you tell me where I can get it.

- Guru I need a dimension splitter but I can't find it in neocron? Is there an easy way to get it?

- Dear Guru in Neocron as PPU I am unable to be godlike. What am I doing wrong?

- Hey Guru is there a way to stop my drones getting caught in trees in neocron?

[evs]

kthxbye

[Benjie]

I copy and pasted the dimension splitter question to him. See if we can get somebody to say Neocron on TV.

[Archeus]

On another note I've been asked for an interview relating to MMORPG's by an Irish paper (big one). I'll try to mention neocron often. :D

Any other Irish players who want in as well Private Message me and I'll send you on the details of who/how to contact (if you don't already know).

[Benjie]

I just sent this to Games Guru.


"Games Guru I have a Gamecube. I am playing Real Life and I am trying to get on TV. Thanks."


Heh. Gamecubes pwn j00. Better than Xbox even though I love my Xbox. LINK! he come to TOWN! he come to SAVE! the princess ZELDA! Phhhhht. PS2. Trash. gc>xbox>gba>ps2>ps1

[greendonkeyuk]

for those that dont know or have never seen it its on about 8am on a weekday morning, the show is dire but the guru guy is pretty funny. Hes not a patch on the gamesmaster of old tho.

[Birkoff]

haha, with the 2 guys that blatantly know nothing about games.

"So what do u think of the... *thinks* graphics?"

"ummm.. there good, lets see them"

"Here is my uber guy thats talks like he knows what he is talking about and asks me really simple questions, so i looke good"




Dear guru can u tell me the best hacking site for NC?

[Eledhbrant]

Guru cracks me up all the time :)


"up, down, left, up, right" *guru gestures wildly for each motion* - so funny

[Owain]

Oh it's a tv program?....I thought it was one of those random reply things...

I asked, "Why are boobies boobies?"

[Jaggeh]

Typical Games guru script


Guru: ASK THE GURU!!!!!1111
noob: dear games guru im shit at virtual golf, how can i get better
Guru: AH NOOB, YOU SEEK TO BE BETTER, YOU STRIVE ON THE PATH OF THE GURU, FOR THIS I AM HAPPY, AND YET I SHALL HELP YOU, FOR AM I NOT THE GURU
Guru: <gesticulating wildly> PRESS UP DOWN UP DOWN IN OUT IN OUT AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT, YOU WILL NOW HAVE ACCESS TO ALL THE GOLFERS, PLAY WELL MY FRIEND PLAY WELL

<he bows and the screen fades out>

lol i laugh my ass off almost everytime i see that program.

[Doc Holliday]

the 2 guys who present it really do try to come accross as proper saaaawwf laaandaaan bad boys tho dont they.


I mean the fuckin sleeveless tops thing. where i come from they were the pinnacle of fashion ( for all the townie beer swilling fucks ) about 2 yrs ago. and in order to stay on topic im not even gonna go in to the guru :p with out haveing to have the post mired by lots of expletive deleted messages. their view of pc games seems to be all point an click rpg games or point and click strategy games too. no good ones like any of the decent fps games out there.

However on the plus side the blond bird who gets all the free demos is well fit even if its blatantly obvious on of the aforementioned kings of style does want a bit with her :eek: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Akasha]

ROFLMAO i love watchin gamesville ^^

guru is gr8 (he has his tongue pierced mmm ;) )

by the way its on skyone mix at 4pm and 6pm if u miss the early one! and yes ill be texn in sum ov them questions, see if we can get sum nc on tv lol

[Beanie McChimp]

lol gamezville suxors i might send him an e-mil saying
"When is Dome of york out"

[J. Folsom]

"Dear Games Guru, after playing the Sims I'm seriously afraid of kissing anyone, in case of a sudden bright flash of light, and a baby appearing, but people are telling me it works differently. So can you tell me how babies are made?"

I dare everyone to send this in!

[Original monk]

Originally posted by Archeus

- Dear Guru where can I find a poker in neocron at 6am GMT time on Pluto?
- Guru I need a dimension splitter but I can't find it in neocron? Is there an easy way to get it?
- Dear Guru in Neocron as PPU I am unable to be godlike. What am I doing wrong?


yeah guru tell us about that :P rofl

[Oath]

*NOT A HOMOPHOBIC POST IF IT CASUSES OFFENCE ILL REMOVE IT ASAP*

Questions to guru.

Are you gay?
Are you threatening me?
The ultimate one though,

Who is MJS ingame?

[Doc Holliday]

Question to the guru.



IS THAT U OATH????? o_O o_O ;) :) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Oath]

Originally posted by Doc Holliday
Question to the guru.



IS THAT U OATH????? o_O o_O ;) :) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

ONOZ I AM BUSTED!!!!!!!11111111111111oineoenoeon, naw, i got more facial hair than him, damned noob stubble wearers.

[Archeus]

For anyone who has not experienced the guru, I took the liberty of catching a few seconds of it on TV and uploading it.

http://members.boards.ie/archeus/games_guru.zip

[evs]

omfg rofl