PDA

View Full Version : OT - Tech support nightmares



jernau
07-08-03, 13:33
I thought I'd seen or heard everything you can see and hear in IT services but today I got a new one.

Our CEO just bought me his (personal I might add - not company) laptop and asked if I could fix his keyboard because "his parrots had tried to eat it". :lol:

I kid you not - today I am trying to reassemble a parrot-mauled laptop.:(

Come on guys share your stories to cheer me up. First-hand only, not stuff you read on the net ;).

\\Fényx//
07-08-03, 13:42
Customer phoned up and asked how to use the footpedal on her new PC... after about 10 minutes of trying to work out wtf she was rambling on about, we realised she meant the mouse 8|

Another customer who brought a 1gig Tbird athlon, then ran it at 300fsb and wonderd why it fried it :rolleyes: he then tried to sue us because we sold him a faulty CPU, on the basis that ''all Athlon CPU's are made to run at 300fsb, just the 100/133/166 fsb is a reccomended level''

HellHound
07-08-03, 13:45
Well, the PCs at the company I used to work for were always left running so they could be backed up overnight....

One morning I got a call from downstairs, 'none of the machines in reception are working'.
You try reminding a kindly receptionist old enough to be your mother that there was a powercut the night before. :(

EDIT: Footpedal? :lol:

Syntax-Error
07-08-03, 13:46
Once has a guy phone in and said his cup holder was broken. after 10 mins trying to figure out wtf he was talking about, turned out he was using his CD tray as a cup holder (I KID YOU NOT)

Danae
07-08-03, 13:48
lmfao

I love stories like these :p

My brother worked in tech/repair support at a local computer store. One woman brought her computer in and said it just kept shutting down for no reason.

They opened the case up, the first thing they saw were roaches inside (not the bug type) and when they looked at the fan, it was clogged with gobs and gobs of hair *shudder*

\\Fényx//
07-08-03, 13:50
http://www.techrant.net/

MjukisDjur
07-08-03, 13:53
seen most of things now after 5 years but the worst ones are laptops killed by coca cola + crayon lovin kids. That is a real mess

And I really hate when people let their computer stay in the car for public display and the user got no backups :) (talking high lvl staff).

jernau
07-08-03, 13:53
Originally posted by Syntax-Error
Once has a guy phone in and said his cup holder was broken. after 10 mins trying to figure out wtf he was talking about, turned out he was using his CD tray as a cup holder (I KID YOU NOT)

You really had that one? I always thought it was an urban legend. Wow!!

I actually have a star user here that regularly comes out with marvelous acts of idiocy.

My favourite was a few years back when we were merging two offices. He'd relocated his own PC to his new office and managed to get it to boot up (I was impressed) and then he rang me to ask why he couldn't print. I asked him which printer and was told "my printer". I then asked if this was the one that was unplugged, in a box, 2 miles away on the other side of town and he said "yes". :rolleyes: He than asked why his document hadn't come out of one of the other printers "that all look the same" if his wasn't there. I gave up at that point and went to retrieve "his" printer - actually a sodding great big network jobby that happened to be near his desk in the old office.

MjukisDjur
07-08-03, 13:54
Originally posted by Syntax-Error
Once has a guy phone in and said his cup holder was broken. after 10 mins trying to figure out wtf he was talking about, turned out he was using his CD tray as a cup holder (I KID YOU NOT)

That is the oldest urban legend in computer history... come on

SynC_187
07-08-03, 13:55
We had a PC in an old build apparently "blow up". We went down to investigate, to find out it was an ancient machine we didn't support. Being the nice guys we are we had a look though.

We opened it up and saw black marks around the power supply so removed it and stripped it down.

Inside was a semi liquified mouse that had crawled over the high voltage terminals.

I can still almost smell it. YUKK...

SynC_187
07-08-03, 13:56
Originally posted by MjukisDjur
That is the oldest urban legend in computer history... come on

Yep and it still happens.

HellHound
07-08-03, 13:58
Originally posted by \\Fényx//
http://www.techrant.net/

rofl... truer words have never been spoken:

Common Problems: they are getting '0wn3d' in countar streik

Usual Solution: Turn off kazaa downloading your bucketloads of porn while playing cs. Oh and learn to play the fucking game dick


You do not get respect from me for simply being on this planet longer than I have. You can live for 80 years and still achieve fuck all. Being an antique and dusty does not mean I bow down to you.

Dont blame me if you are a fuckwit, or you act like one.


Originally posted by SynC_187
Inside was a semi liquified mouse that had crawled over the high voltage terminals.

I can still almost smell it. YUKK...
:eek:

AxeMan
07-08-03, 14:01
a couple of weeks ago my brother had someone call in to complain that since they got their new pc they couldnt get any email.

he tried all the usual stuff, till in the end (after 15mins ) asked if they really were connected, they said of course.

he tried and tried but in the end asked if there really was a connetion from their pc to the phone socket they sheepishly said no :lol: :lol:

hinch
07-08-03, 14:02
one of my old pc`s had a slot loading pioneer cd burner in it
a friend came round with his 1 year old kid for the evening
next day i tried to use the cd drive but it said there was already a cd in yet i knew there wasnt.

on closer inspection the kid had shoved 2 crackers (you know them jakobs things in the orange packets) into my cd drive

i spent the next 2 hours carefully dismantling it and putting it back to gether

jernau
07-08-03, 14:03
Originally posted by SynC_187
We had a PC in an old build apparently "blow up". We went down to investigate, to find out it was an ancient machine we didn't support. Being the nice guys we are we had a look though.

We opened it up and saw black marks around the power supply so removed it and stripped it down.

Inside was a semi liquified mouse that had crawled over the high voltage terminals.

I can still almost smell it. YUKK...

yurgh!!!

I remember on one of the first days in this job I went to look at a PC that the user had reported as making "funny noises". I got there and immediately recognised the rattle of a blocked/damaged PSU fan so I crawled under the desk to see if I could do anything in-situ or would need to take it apart or replace it. Just as I got under there the supply literally blew up and set fire to itself. Half the office turned round at the bang to see "the new IT guy" in a cloud of blue smoke checking to see how many eye-brows he had. Not the best first-impression I've made. :)

HellHound
07-08-03, 14:12
Oh, just remembered another classic.... I used to have to run about 3-4 hundred high quality JPEGs through a colour correction process on a Mac two or three times a week, could take up to 3 hours a time.
When pressed on why it took me so long to do, I explained that it was an automated batch that I just started running, to get the wonderful reply....
'Well can't you make it go any faster?' o_O

Shockwave
07-08-03, 14:23
Originally posted by MjukisDjur
That is the oldest urban legend in computer history... come on

It *genuinely does happen*, as does the mouse/foot pedal! First line tech support is a TOTAL nightmate! I once spent 35 minutes trying to help someone move the W98 Taskbar from the right hand border of the screen back to the bottom! A friend of mine on Customer Services who had a right screamer, ended up telling him "Sir, not even *GOD* could get your computer to you today!". The customer who's brand new PC was "rattling and clunking" when he moved it - the slot P2-450 with half-ton heatsink had come loose in transit and was dangling from the fan power cord and had been merrily bashing into everything for the entire trip (Bloody Amtrak). The customer who tried to claim over £130 for calls to out premium support line, when he'd in fact been calling pr0n chatlines (We addressed the reply letter to his wife :lol: ). The guy who wanted his faulty PC picked up from Argentina ("Sorry sir, your warranty is only valid in the UK"). And never, ever work Tech Support over the Christmas period, unless you like being personally blamed for ruining an entire family's christmas every other call. :/

Shock.
Harrowed.

jernau
07-08-03, 14:38
I like working xmas. No-one is here to break anything and I can reboot the servers as much as I like without having to notify 100s of lusers, remind marketing to save documents more than once a day, delay while someone sends an "important" email, etc., etc. etc.

Stigmata
07-08-03, 14:51
I used to work in the service centre at Time computers, Just before i left the company they introduced a policy of no eating in the service centre.

This was due to some guy working on a machine while eating his dinner, he had put a Tuna Sandwich down inside the case for some reason, he then was distracted, forgot about it and later packaged the machine up and sent it out.

Only to recieve furious calls a week or so later when the customer had been told to open up the compluter to check where the funny smell was coming from.

This perticular customer got a full a refund and the above named firm was mentioned on a TV program slagging bad firms opff for poor service. :D

Shit firm to work for, glad im out.

Andy

p.s our computer illeterate Sales reps at my new firm decided to open a dodgy email on their external email account, User A opens up this email then gets a message that it could be a virus are you sure you want to open it, he says open anyway, BAM w32/bugbear-b (motherfucker to get rid of)

He then sends it to a couple of other reps that he thinks may know what this email (with attachment) is for so being total assholes they open it aswell.

Now i am faced with the wonderful job of dis-infecting 19 laptops.

SynC_187
07-08-03, 15:10
Originally posted by Shockwave
It *genuinely does happen*, as does the mouse/foot pedal! First line tech support is a TOTAL nightmate! I once spent 35 minutes trying to help someone move the W98 Taskbar from the right hand border of the screen back to the bottom! A friend of mine on Customer Services who had a right screamer, ended up telling him "Sir, not even *GOD* could get your computer to you today!". The customer who's brand new PC was "rattling and clunking" when he moved it - the slot P2-450 with half-ton heatsink had come loose in transit and was dangling from the fan power cord and had been merrily bashing into everything for the entire trip (Bloody Amtrak). The customer who tried to claim over £130 for calls to out premium support line, when he'd in fact been calling pr0n chatlines (We addressed the reply letter to his wife :lol: ). The guy who wanted his faulty PC picked up from Argentina ("Sorry sir, your warranty is only valid in the UK"). And never, ever work Tech Support over the Christmas period, unless you like being personally blamed for ruining an entire family's christmas every other call. :/

Shock.
Harrowed.

Another classic is people trying to talk into their mouse (yes we have really had it). After watching all these scifi films with people talking to their AI computers they think its current technology everywhere. You try not to laugh down the phone when they say they told the computer to "turn on" but it won't.

jernau
07-08-03, 16:04
I just returned the parrot-chewed laptop to it's owner who then asked me if he could run a CD by putting it in his floppy drive :rolleyes: . I suggested the CD-drive would work better and he looked confused so I had to show him.:rolleyes:

It's not like we make sausages - we're a software company and he's our no.1 representative.


This did remind of another one by my "star user" though :

He needed a PC to take to an exhibition so we provided him with one and to make it easy we showed him how all the sockets on the back were colour coded - purple wire in purple hole, etc. This had to be explained becuase be makes a habit of "exciting" wiring (eg. plugging the power loop-through into the power input). Anyway..... I get the call I was dreading - "the mouse plug doesn't fit", so I explain it's keyed and suggest gently rotating it till it goes in easily - no luck. I talked him through everything I could think of while he got more and more angry saying we'd given him a duff box and how it would cost the company a fortune..... In the end I had to give in trying to fix it over the phone and sent someone down with a new box. The look on my colleagues face when he returned was priceless in fact I think he'd laughed all the way back from London (60 miles). The mouse lead was totally fucked and the headphone socket now had a couple of metal pins and some shards of plastic jammed in it. The idiot had followed the colour scheme as instructed and tried to ram a ps2 mouse plug into a stereo phono socket (both green). Tried so hard in fact he had flattened the mouse plug down to the solder.

I pinned the mouse to the notice board in the kitchen with a picture of one of those square-plug-round-hole toys for 2 year olds.:D

Spoon
07-08-03, 16:25
Originally posted by jernau
I just returned the parrot-chewed laptop to it's owner who then asked me if he could run a CD by putting it in his floppy drive :rolleyes: . I suggested the CD-drive would work better and he looked confused so I had to show him.:rolleyes:

It's not like we make sausages - we're a software company and he's our no.1 representative.


:eek: OMG....

Do you buy your own company's stocks?.....o_O

jernau
07-08-03, 16:29
Originally posted by Spoon
:eek: OMG....

Do you buy your own company's stocks?.....o_O

Thankfully no. They gave me some options once but I "lost" the certificate.

They once had asked everyone for suggestions for a new company slogan and I suggested "we suck". Apparently that's inappropriate comment from someone in my position :D

OpTi
07-08-03, 18:28
don't you just hate those customers that blatently LIE?

i've done PCServiceCall which does support for PC's sold by dixons, psworld, currys and the link, also printer and fax machines sold by those shops too. I've also worked for Freeserve tech support (which i have just resigned from, at last :D)

i HATE when people LIE to me and i KNOW they are lying :mad:

hinch
07-08-03, 18:32
Originally posted by OpTi
I've also worked for Freeserve tech support (which i have just resigned from, at last :D)

your fibbing freeserve dont have tech support even when your calling from their hosting company to tell them to expect some calls for a couple of hours whilst we switch them over to new radius servers.
or when your trying to get a test dialup account setup with access to all their current packages so you can test one of their new products youve spent 2 years working on o_O (this got added by me directly to their database in the end and is still working today :))

Danae
07-08-03, 18:32
Originally posted by OpTi
i HATE when people LIE to me and i KNOW they are lying :mad:

I know that feeling well :p

HellHound
07-08-03, 18:32
Heh, even I've done that. I may know how to work with PCs, but never try and set up your brand new machine while drunk. Seriously, it's not a good idea. I switched the voltage and told the company it was like that when they delivered it.... :o

OpTi
07-08-03, 18:42
Originally posted by hinch
your fibbing freeserve dont have tech support even when your calling from their hosting company to tell them to expect some calls for a couple of hours whilst we switch them over to new radius servers.
or when your trying to get a test dialup account setup with access to all their current packages so you can test one of their new products youve spent 2 years working on o_O (this got added by me directly to their database in the end and is still working today :))

09062517517 - Freeserve Technical Support

"Good afternoon yout through to freeserve support, calls are charged at 50 pence per minute and the maximum call duration is 20 minutes, my names Aren, how can i help?"

I NEVER EVER have to say that stupid intro AGAIN!!! :D

kurai
08-08-03, 01:05
Originally posted by jernau
You really had that one? I always thought it was an urban legend. Wow!! I've also had one of the "urban legend" ones.

Years ago when I was fresh out of University and working retail, selling PCs to pay off my massive student debts I sold a guy some 8086 based machine with dual 1.2Mb 5.25" floppy drives.

He had a problem with his GEM Desktop floppies - wouldn't boot, so I asked him to bring in a copy of the disks and I'd sort it for him.

He appears 2 days later with an envelope containing photocopies of the disks O_o

To make matters worse ... he'd very carefully taken a pair of scissors to the square outer protective layer, and had removed the inner circular magnetic disc to photocopy. :eek:

Nidhogg
08-08-03, 01:09
Originally posted by OpTi
I NEVER EVER have to say that stupid intro AGAIN!!! :D Maybe the script should have been "Good afternoon yout through to freeserve support, calls are charged at 50 pence per minute and the maximum call duration is 20 minutes, my names Aren and you're already 50 pence in the hole, how can i help?" ;)

N

Lovitiar
08-08-03, 02:03
Fun comics (often) about tech support:



http://www.userfriendly.org/

and

http://www.ubersoft.net/



If you think the cupholder is bad......