Dribble Joy
08-06-11, 21:47
Word of warning: This is going to be a borderline rant at the minimum, and if necessary please delete, I kinda need to vent a bit.
So, I work at a factory as an agency worker. Shifts are unknown, could be working all week, a couple of days or nothing for a month, don't actually ever know if I am working the next day until the afternoon/evening before. Inconsistent, makes paying bills iffy, generally kinda stressful.
Anyway. Had an 'informal chat' regarding a full-time vacancy in the stores. Of course there was nothing really informal or chatty about it, it was a full-blown interview in front of the stores manager and the head of the department.
It went badly. Being socially inept, I'm terrible at interviews at the best of times but this was special even for me.
They tell me they will inform me of the decision some point next week after they've done all the other interviews (which us a bit odd since it's now two weeks after the closing date and a week ago I heard I was the only person who applied), so things are already not looking good.
Now for some more background:
As some of you may know and a small number have been witness too, I have issues with making mistakes. Given the rather stressful nature of the complete lack of stability in my life, personal, financial et al. this can push me a bit too far when I mess up too much for my liking. This mostly resulting in punching myself in the side of the head repeatedly. I try to avoid this in a work environment, but then making mistakes at work are worse than messing up tactically in a wargame or making a sandwich or something, so there's a greater feeling of incompetence.
Unfortunately, it hadn't gone unnoticed in an official capacity and a couple of weeks ago the agency representative took me to one side and had a 'little chat' with me about what was causing this 'destructive self-harming behaviour' (despite me feeling most of the time that punishing myself in some manner is quite appropriate at times).
He tells me that since it's not just a work related thing and is apparently a manifestation of stress, to get myself off to my local GP. I don't have one so the agency e-mails me a list of the ones in the area.
The next week I'm at work and an incident occurs that leads to complete and utter rage and contempt for myself, cue the head beatings. At this point I haven't had time to register with a GP.
So today after the interview I get a call from one of the agency staff asking how it went, I said badly.
15 mins later I get another call from another agency staff member telling me that I haven't got the position.
25 mins after the 'chat', the results of which won't be known until next week. Something's odd.
He then asks if it was true I had an 'episode' the week before after the last 'chat' and if I had started seeing a doctor. Yes and No respectively.
He then informs me that because of this I am now considered a Heath and Safety Risk to myself and other employees and I am forbidden to set foot on the company premises until such time as I have seen a GP and a note can be given to them and they can go to the factory and argue a case for me to resume employment. I'm then under no uncertain terms told to go register with a doctor.
So off I go to the nearest surgery and ask to register. They need some documents so I go home to get them.
I come back and discover that you can't register with a GP unless you have valid photo ID.
I don't have valid photo ID.
After a few moments of panic I realise my only way out of this is to renew my driving license. Of course this will take up to two weeks to process and arrive, then I have to wait for the surgery to approve my registration, then I have to book an appointment, then they have to 'sort me out'.
And when that's finally done I might be allowed back to work.
Getting work in the mean time elsewhere?
'Well, why did you leave your last job?'
'I am a danger to myself.'
'I see. Well, thank you for your time, we'll let you know if your application have been successful.'
So it's off to the Jobcentre tomorrow while the time is taken to prove I'm not bonkers in an official capacity.
Of course it doesn't help that the last time I was on Jobseekers still hasn't been processed due to the volunteer work I do and haven't received any payments for it and thus can't apply for housing benefit either.
And it doesn't help that my housemates/landlords have told me that 'they need more space and don't really need a lodger at the moment' and I have until the end of the month to move out.
And it doesn't help that I don't have enough for a deposit.
My only option I have is moving back down south to my parents house almost ten years to the month after failing two degree courses due to other personal problems, with a sack of debt, no experience, no references, no job and fewer friends.
Which would make my failure complete. Flown the nest to start my own life and I can't do it.
I'd probably get taken to court if I left the area anyway since I owe the council in the region of £860.
So, I work at a factory as an agency worker. Shifts are unknown, could be working all week, a couple of days or nothing for a month, don't actually ever know if I am working the next day until the afternoon/evening before. Inconsistent, makes paying bills iffy, generally kinda stressful.
Anyway. Had an 'informal chat' regarding a full-time vacancy in the stores. Of course there was nothing really informal or chatty about it, it was a full-blown interview in front of the stores manager and the head of the department.
It went badly. Being socially inept, I'm terrible at interviews at the best of times but this was special even for me.
They tell me they will inform me of the decision some point next week after they've done all the other interviews (which us a bit odd since it's now two weeks after the closing date and a week ago I heard I was the only person who applied), so things are already not looking good.
Now for some more background:
As some of you may know and a small number have been witness too, I have issues with making mistakes. Given the rather stressful nature of the complete lack of stability in my life, personal, financial et al. this can push me a bit too far when I mess up too much for my liking. This mostly resulting in punching myself in the side of the head repeatedly. I try to avoid this in a work environment, but then making mistakes at work are worse than messing up tactically in a wargame or making a sandwich or something, so there's a greater feeling of incompetence.
Unfortunately, it hadn't gone unnoticed in an official capacity and a couple of weeks ago the agency representative took me to one side and had a 'little chat' with me about what was causing this 'destructive self-harming behaviour' (despite me feeling most of the time that punishing myself in some manner is quite appropriate at times).
He tells me that since it's not just a work related thing and is apparently a manifestation of stress, to get myself off to my local GP. I don't have one so the agency e-mails me a list of the ones in the area.
The next week I'm at work and an incident occurs that leads to complete and utter rage and contempt for myself, cue the head beatings. At this point I haven't had time to register with a GP.
So today after the interview I get a call from one of the agency staff asking how it went, I said badly.
15 mins later I get another call from another agency staff member telling me that I haven't got the position.
25 mins after the 'chat', the results of which won't be known until next week. Something's odd.
He then asks if it was true I had an 'episode' the week before after the last 'chat' and if I had started seeing a doctor. Yes and No respectively.
He then informs me that because of this I am now considered a Heath and Safety Risk to myself and other employees and I am forbidden to set foot on the company premises until such time as I have seen a GP and a note can be given to them and they can go to the factory and argue a case for me to resume employment. I'm then under no uncertain terms told to go register with a doctor.
So off I go to the nearest surgery and ask to register. They need some documents so I go home to get them.
I come back and discover that you can't register with a GP unless you have valid photo ID.
I don't have valid photo ID.
After a few moments of panic I realise my only way out of this is to renew my driving license. Of course this will take up to two weeks to process and arrive, then I have to wait for the surgery to approve my registration, then I have to book an appointment, then they have to 'sort me out'.
And when that's finally done I might be allowed back to work.
Getting work in the mean time elsewhere?
'Well, why did you leave your last job?'
'I am a danger to myself.'
'I see. Well, thank you for your time, we'll let you know if your application have been successful.'
So it's off to the Jobcentre tomorrow while the time is taken to prove I'm not bonkers in an official capacity.
Of course it doesn't help that the last time I was on Jobseekers still hasn't been processed due to the volunteer work I do and haven't received any payments for it and thus can't apply for housing benefit either.
And it doesn't help that my housemates/landlords have told me that 'they need more space and don't really need a lodger at the moment' and I have until the end of the month to move out.
And it doesn't help that I don't have enough for a deposit.
My only option I have is moving back down south to my parents house almost ten years to the month after failing two degree courses due to other personal problems, with a sack of debt, no experience, no references, no job and fewer friends.
Which would make my failure complete. Flown the nest to start my own life and I can't do it.
I'd probably get taken to court if I left the area anyway since I owe the council in the region of £860.