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View Full Version : [OT] DJ's fantabulous few days.



Dribble Joy
30-11-09, 21:20
I don't prattle on about my life like I used to, mainly because my life is generally not as interesting as it has been in the past.

The last few days however have been somewhat more fun.

Thursday:
Worked at the bar, got home at about 3am. Absent-mindedly stayed up watching cartoons and reading comics. Went to bed at 8am.

Friday:
I had hoped to go into town, see if I could see some of my mates at the GW shop and maybe do some painting.
Alas I got out of bed at 5pm, after the sun had gone down. Too late to go out and do stuff and felt like doing nothing since it was dark.
A non-day. Managed to get to sleep at about 4am after being up for only 11 hours.

Saturday:
Thought I would wake up at about 1pm. Thought I missed my alarm and jumped out of bed to discover it was only about 10, with less than 6 hours sleep I staggered downstairs to make a cup of tea.
Post included two letters. The distinctive markings of the local council on them.

The first was a form to fill in regarding my change in circumstances. I didn't have any, so I opened the other.
It was to inform me that my housing benefit was to be cancelled, after they had been given information regarding a change in my income.
My income is allways changing as the number of hours I work allways changes, but I don't go above the amount I can do on Jobseekers, so there shouldn't be a problem; onwards I read.
Apparently, the council thinks I earn £999 a week. I can assure you I don't. Being a suspicious number itself, I plan to go to their offices and talk at them in a thoroughly stiff British manner.
I have work at 1pm the next day so I set my alarm for 11am and go to bed at 3am.

Sunday:
Jumped out of bed thinking I had missed my alarm, to realise it was 9am, with less than 6 hours sleep I staggered downstairs to make a cup of tea.

At about 12:30pm I turn off my comp and get out the ironing board to iron my shirt for work. I plug in the iron and discover in the few seconds it took me to come downstairs my electricity had been cut off. Flicking switches in the cellar does nothing to resolve the situation.
About a month ago, my housemate moved out, cancelling all the bills. I had forgot to get a new contract.

My mobile's battery is shot and a call will only last a few seconds before it dies, so I have to talk with it plugged in. But I have no power.
The house phone is via the cable connection and the batteries in the handset are shot anyway, after sitting in a box for two years before I got it out when my housemate took his one. I have some spare AAA batteries, but the ones in the phone are purpose made AAAs that are slightly shorter with a longer pin on the + terminal, so mine won't fit.

I also can't use the internet to get a phone number to call a gas/electricity company.

The only thing that isn't a crinkled mess is the t-shirt I am wearing at the time, so with my charger and my normal work shirt I go to the bar.

The t-shirt I am wearing is fine though.
We expect it to be busy, as we are showing the Liverpool - Everton match and the Arsenal - Chelsea one. The pub is the town's Gunners venue, that one will be a nightmare.
Plus the town Crimbo lights are being turned on at 5pm.

Hardly anyone turns up. For anything.

At 8pm the Uni Kung Fu club turns up for their Crimbo party in the event room upstairs. All 52 of them (two didn't come).
Much running up and down stairs with hot food since the lift is broken.
They are expected to leave at about 12am, so we can clean up and go at 1am.

We leave at about 3am.

With no lights at home, and no electricity to light the dodgy boiler, I go to bed, rather knackered anyway.

Monday:

For the first time in several days I get a good amount of sleep and get out of bed at about 2pm.
I stagger downstairs and realise the kettle won't work for my tea.

One advantage of being a smoker - You allways have a lighter on you.

Good for lighting the hob when the sparker doesn't work.
Tea drunk I wander into town, put munnies into bank and credit card and go to the other wargames shop in town to see Rob and ask if I can use his computer to get a number and plug to call them.

Phone npower to discover they don't do the house, but give me a number for Southern. Phone them but run out of credit while on hold.
Top up and phone again, spending a quarter of an hour listening to french jazz and odd deep south ballards, for them to inform me that they haven't actually cut me off.
After a bit we surmise that a main fuse has broken, since that would case the main switch to flick back to off when you turn it to on, which is what happened the day before.
All of which cost me about £5.50 in credit.
Rob informs me that I should buy a torch, rather than use a lighter to inspect the box again.

I go to Wilcos, grumbling at the thought of wasting more munnie, I am pleased to find a small, El Cheapo, 75p torch.
At home, I use it to look at the fuse box, and out of curiousity I flick the switch.

It stays up.
The light comes on.
The fridge starts up.
The answer machine makes noises.

And I realise I have forgotten to go to the council.

Jodo
30-11-09, 22:10
If you did have £999 pw income you'd have "people" to sort all that shit out for you.
Good luck with the council. I think they get bored and create glitches to entertain themselves. :wtf:

Hoder
30-11-09, 22:20
Rob informs me that I should buy a torch, rather than use a lighter to inspect the box again.I fear a career as a gas meter reader isn't for you :p

CMaster
01-12-09, 00:09
I fear a career as a gas meter reader isn't for you :p
Well, not for long anyhow.

http://www.blogspot.com

Brammers
01-12-09, 04:00
When you do get to the Council just ask the person interviewing you if they or their colleagues earn more that £999 pounds a week. O_o

I wonder if their computer system copes with claims when you say you earn more than £999 a week! If you do crash you local council's computer system by saying you earn more than £999 a week, let us know!

L0KI
01-12-09, 10:22
Lol, great read DJ.

What an unfortunate few days you have had.

nobby
01-12-09, 11:58
I go to Wilcos, grumbling at the thought of wasting more munnie, I am pleased to find a small, El Cheapo, 75p torch.
At home, I use it to look at the fuse box, and out of curiousity I flick the switch.

It stays up.
The light comes on.
The fridge starts up.
The answer machine makes noises.

And I realise I have forgotten to go to the council.

hehe that was a good read :)

Biglines
01-12-09, 12:47
I wonder if their computer system copes with claims when you say you earn more than £999 a week! If you do crash you local council's computer system by saying you earn more than £999 a week, let us know!
is earning more than 999 a week so strange in england? I mean no I don't earn that kind of money and no I won't for some time, but I know quite a lot of people that earn more than that

edit: ah wait, current rate of exchange to the euro kinda skewed the number, but still it's not so strange... in december I'll earn 860 euros for a 60 hour workweek, and I'm just a student assistant (as in, a student that assists in teaching n stuff)

CMaster
01-12-09, 13:22
is earning more than 999 a week so strange in england? I mean no I don't earn that kind of money and no I won't for some time, but I know quite a lot of people that earn more than that

edit: ah wait, current rate of exchange to the euro kinda skewed the number, but still it's not so strange... in december I'll earn 860 euros for a 60 hour workweek, and I'm just a student assistant (as in, a student that assists in teaching n stuff)

Median weekly income is £489 for working adults http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=285 . Looking through the full report, I can't find a distribution quickly - or a standard dev. However, considering that salary graphs are always skewed towards the lower end I'd guess less than 10% earn that much. It's worth considering that £999 a week would work out at £52k ($85k, €57k (crazy exchange rates! Should have joined the euro...)) a year. Certainly not unheard of for management positions but not what most people would get.

Also, isn't a 60-hour workweek illegal in most of the EU?
Edit: Yes it is (http://eur-lex.europa.eu/smartapi/cgi/sga_doc?smartapi!celexapi!prod!CELEXnumdoc&lg=en&numdoc=31993L0104&model=guichett) (dutch and other offical language versions also at the link). 48 hours is the maximum, although I don't know the technical requirements of the Dutch implementation.

zii
01-12-09, 13:24
is earning more than 999 a week so strange in england? I mean no I don't earn that kind of money and no I won't for some time, but I know quite a lot of people that earn more than that


No, 999 pounds per week (~50 grand) is not a lot of money but a reasonable salary if you live in London, unless you are on the dole. However, this does not mean that a lot of people earn this individually; A household income can exceeds this where husband & wife both earn at least 25,000 p/a each, which is not uncommon.

L0KI
01-12-09, 14:01
I wish I earned £52,000 a year.

I run 2 small businesses that earn a few grand a year each, and I work as a Bid Writer/Manager for one of the largest construction companies in the world, and I'm nowhere near that figure.

I don't know anyone earning more than £35k per year, personally.

That being said... you only need to have the 'right' qualification/skill, and you're on a hell of a lot more.

Biglines
01-12-09, 16:04
Also, isn't a 60-hour workweek illegal in most of the EU?
Edit: Yes it is (http://eur-lex.europa.eu/smartapi/cgi/sga_doc?smartapi!celexapi!prod!CELEXnumdoc&lg=en&numdoc=31993L0104&model=guichett) (dutch and other offical language versions also at the link). 48 hours is the maximum, although I don't know the technical requirements of the Dutch implementation.
myeah, meant I would work 60 hours in a week that december, but thats just a one time thing (no work rest of the month)

but ok, just wondered why the joke was that some town computer would crash if there'd be more than 999 a week, didn't seem that much to me, but used to be more than 1500 euro (now way less cuz of exchange rates)

Lexxuk
02-12-09, 00:02
Also, isn't a 60-hour workweek illegal in most of the EU?
Edit: Yes it is (http://eur-lex.europa.eu/smartapi/cgi/sga_doc?smartapi!celexapi!prod!CELEXnumdoc&lg=en&numdoc=31993L0104&model=guichett) (dutch and other offical language versions also at the link). 48 hours is the maximum, although I don't know the technical requirements of the Dutch implementation.

Working Time Regulations state a maximum number of hours per week on EU regulations, however, there is an opt-out, I used to work 12 hours a day 7 days a week which is 84 hours a week, then get 3 or 4 days off then work another 7, good money that (especially double time :angel: ), however the opt-out is voluntary and you can't be forced to sign it, nor fired for not agreeing to it.

84 hours a week, even at minimum wage is £487 (though I wasn't on minimum wage :D). At minimum wage you need to work 172 hours a week, there are 189 hours in a week :lol:

Ka0s^
12-12-09, 12:45
i earnt £59k last year (my basic is £28k) however i had to work 72 hours a week alternate weeks of days/nights. I opted out of the EU 48 hour rule as did the whole company i work for.

Its soul destroying though and i realised at christmas last year money isnt worth sacraficing your partner/kids for. Ive taken a much chilled out view of money since last year.

A great read made me chuckle DJ :D

Dribble Joy
12-12-09, 18:45
Tuesday:

I go to the council. Oddly enough I'm the only one waiting and I get to see someone quickly. I've brought a whole load of pay slips so they can see how much I actually earn. Apparently when you come off Jobseekers someone puts in £999 to trigger the systems, though why they can't trigger them themselves is mildly confusing. As it transpired, I accidentally missed an interview at the Jobcentre, thinking it was two weeks from my sign in, not one. This meant my allowance was temporarily stopped. It was started again soon after and I barely noticed it, but it had been by the council, whose wheels may not turn quickly, but do turn. This was all back in early October, and I didn't bring the payslips that covered that period, so they gave me a letter to take to my boss to get new ones printed off, if I couldn't find the originals.
The former unlikely, the latter uncertain.
Otherwise things were sorted.

I walk outside where I am accosted by two 'Street Wardens' from the council.
They lead me over to the cigarette butt I dropped on the ground in front of the Council Office Building and point out the signs and bins provided.
I walk back into the council, get a ticket, go to the desk when called and pay my fixed penalty notice fine of £50 by card.

Wednesday:

My internet is cut off.

My housemate had also cancelled the service when he moved out, with a month left for it to run, at which point a box would come through the post for me to put all the stuff in. This even now has yet to appear.
I still have the freeview channels on the telly, so I watch terrible daytime shows and the news. The snooker on BBC2 proves a mildly sufficient distraction also.

Friday:

Ben is sick, so I have to do his shift.

I have issues with making mistakes. Errors I can deal with, they are unknowable and therefore unavoidable.
Getting orders wrong or mistakes of similar nature when at the bar generally manifest themselves in me calling myself a long list of derogatory adjectives and then my head coming into contact with a variety of objects, such as a bottle, glass, the wall or in this particular case, my fist. Unfortunately this time I do it a little too hard and after the customer in question has stopped laughing, I have given them the right thing and they have gone to sit down, the side of my head bursts into pain and a sizeable lump appears. It would continue to punish me for my mistake for the next few days.

As an example. Customer asks for:
'Three bottles of Bud, a pint of Carling and two Becks.'

I get him the Bud, pour the Carling and pour the first Becks and put in front of him, starting the second.

'What? No. Two bottles of Becks.'

Now you might argue that what form of Becks he wanted was unknowable, and thus an error, not a mistake, but I didn't ask what form of becks. Thus much swearing and the introduction of a Becks glass to the nearly healed side of my head.

It also annoys me when, often in plain view of them, they let you pour/collect the wrong drink(s) before you come back to them and they tell you what they actually wanted.

Saturday:

Leicester loose 5:1 to Forrest.

I wander down the the bar for some food at about 6pm, to find three police cars and an ambulance outside.
Inside I find about ten police and two paramedics. Tending to several people of varying states of disrepair, drunkenness and/or agitation.

It later transpires that lots of pubs across town are having similar problems and the police are being swamped.

It also transpires that there aren't any Forrest supporters around. The Leicester boys and been kicking the shit out of each other.

I wander to me local to tell Chris that they're being thrown out of the central pubs and could be spreading further afield. Thankfully the Paget is a little too hidden away and things are quiet for the rest of the night.

I try to do a Crossword. I fail.

Sunday:

Of too the bar again for the Liverpool vs... vs Someone and Arsenal's final group match for the UEFA cup (I think). They've allready qualified so Venga puts out all the new young players. The average age only goes above 20 because the Captain is 32. The rest of them are 17-19.

One person comes in to watch the game and a couple of others for the Scousers. Arsenal loose. So do Liverpool.

We set out the tables for the Girl's Football cub, who have hired the whole pub for their Christmas party.

Chris (different Chris), comes in so I don't have to pull another 13 hour shift. I could hug him but he'd probably catch something. Dirty DJ.

I go to the Paget for the Sunday Quiz. I join with some of the Polish (and Czech) people I have met there rather than do it on my own, but this week's is bastard hard and we still only get 9/30.

Monday:

Phone Virgin to get them to send internets to me.

Find payslips pertaining to the first half of October under my bed.

Tuesday:

Go to council, making a note note to even risk smoking anywhere within 100 yards of the place.

Wednesday:

Internets arrive. Internets get working again.

Go to the bar since some random football game is on.

Man comes in.
Man asks if he can have a drink, I say yes?
Man asks for and gets a Carlsberg.
Man then starts demonstrating clearly that he is either insane, drunk or both.
Man won't leave.
Man is clearly insane.
Man makes disparaging comments about the Landlord.
Man won't leave.
Man will probably gut us all if we aren't nice to him.
Man's bottle of supermarket sherry is found on the doorstep out side and is swapped for the remainder of his pint.
Man leaves and so do we, half an hour later than planned.
Man will not be served again.

Feeling rather drained I go to the Paget, dodging another crazy on the way.
Some rather drunk and exited group of lads are just leaving the pub, covered in body paint.

I go to the beer garden out the back and get accosted by a drunk and crazy brick layer.

Later on while having another smoke outside I overhear two guys talking about how one was so fed up with the poor pay of his leaflet delivery job he shoplifted a variety of products from an offlicense, seemingly for hell of it.

Friday:

New girl at the bar. The Girl's Rugby Club are having their Christmas party upstairs so Ali needs someone who knows what they are doing to look after her while he's manning the bar in the function room. Landlord is down at the main bar anyway.

It's completely dead from 7 to about a quarter to 12 aside from the rugby girls, who go upstairs quickly anyway. Staff - Customer ratio is about 3:3, not including the cooks (sorry - chefs) doing the food for the girls.
Then everyone piles in.

Saturday:

DJ thinks about getting a blog.

Ka0s^
12-12-09, 20:32
make it a vlog with your new found internets :)

Biglines
12-12-09, 23:29
DJ thinks about getting a blog.
If it's varied enough or it helps you deal with stuff it's always a good idea, but realize the intarwebs stores everything and you might not want everyone to know all these things about your life

interesting read tho, reminded me a bit of the album by "the streets", called "a grand don't come for free" or something like that