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tarasm
11-01-09, 00:54
CATS AND DOGS THE DOGS DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

TEH CATS DIARY

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Nymphette79
11-01-09, 02:05
ROFL, love it.
So very true.
xxx

L0KI
11-01-09, 02:10
Lol, that's brilliant. :)

nobby
11-01-09, 02:39
That's great and sooo true ^^

Jodo
11-01-09, 05:38
Hahaha. Is that your own wittiness or copy & pasted humour?

NAPPER
11-01-09, 08:32
Thats the funnest thing i have seen all year :angel:

Sharper Blade
11-01-09, 09:16
I actually enjoyed reading that because I have a kitten and he's a beast.

Hoder
11-01-09, 11:59
Very good :)

Not owning pets myself, I still notice the subtle differences between cats and dogs of other people.

Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you.

Garfield
11-01-09, 14:29
yeah Kitty Power

Biglines
11-01-09, 14:38
copy paste:
http://www.google.nl/search?q=My+captors+continue+to+taunt+me&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t

but still, nice story :)

SilentEye
13-01-09, 10:15
Very nice! :D

I can tell the difference, I my self own two hyper-active Jack Russels, and my girlfriend owns 2 cats! :D

Verrryyy different!

Doc Holliday
13-01-09, 11:17
the old adage is :

Dogs have owners.

Cats have staff.

its so very true. cats are just more independent and do what they want. dogs are more loyal and want more social interaction. im a dog lover.

Kanedax
13-01-09, 17:04
So this is like the birds and the bees right?