View Full Version : I'm so screwed!
Hell-demon
20-08-06, 13:20
I'm back after spending 3 and a half weeks in Wales. And now I face a horrible point in my life. I need advice, Im alone, so very alone.
I'm 17 and I recently got my AS level results: all U's. I started my sixth form late because I'd been to a previous school and didn't like it, suffered depression, rows with dad, glandular fever and all sorts of emotional crap. Then for the past 6 months or so I've been feeling low and don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can either go to another college and have a fresh start. Or go into work, although that option is bollocks because there are very few good jobs at my age and I lack some skills.
My GCSE results:
English: A
English Lit: B
Drama: A
Media Studies: B
Geography: C
Science: C
IT: Pass
R.S: B or C can't remember
History: D
Maths: D
I want to find a job I enjoy. I'm thinking of becoming a free lance journalist or a councellor for kids.
Here is also another problem: I have had unprotected sex with a girl who has a boyfriend and she COULD be carrying my child :(
I'm scared people. My life has taken a nose dive. My relationship with my father is horrible. My mum recently married a guy she met on the internet, and he is a complete wierdo prick who makes snide comments about me.
I need advice, support and I hope this community can deliver :(
Hm...hard to say...i'd say go to school and get some skills maybe?
Hm..i forgot to say that if you got a good relationship with your father it can probably be Easier to get a job to. As an example he can talk to his boss (or old boss) about a job for you to get you on your feet. As i might get my Truck (lorry :D ) License paid throgh my fathers job. ;)
Go back to college. If you get yourself on the EMA then you'll have some money to put yourself over if you're still under the care of your parents.
As for the unprotected sex.... You should of forced her to take a morning after pill. I'm sure she's just as eager to not have to go through it as you are (asuming you don't want a child, or it wouldn't be a problem). Theres more then likely 3 options.
1). Run away, don't look back.
2). Ask for an abortion, if shes pregnant. But it could be her boyfriends child which is a problem.
3). Confront the situation. Come clean to people in the immediate situation, her boyfriend etc, and work out what to do. This is of course very risky, theres a chance he could probably try and punch you in the throat.
And there must be reasons why you and your Father don't get along. Just try and work through them, by yourself or with him. This is easier said then done, of course. You could also approach your Mother and talk to her about her Husband, be serious and tell her it's affecting you.
College would be the way to go. If it really doesn't work out for you there then you can look for work in the meantime.
Do you still live with your Dad? If so, I've seen (and experienced) many times that moving out can vastly improve a relationship with parents. That may not feel like an option but I'm sticking to what I know.
As for the internet tard, just stay clear of him. Try and visit your Mum when he's not around and pray for a quick divorce if you feel that strongly about him.
Don't try and get involved or show your Mum the error of her ways. She's obviously a bit wrapped in him at the moment and may not be able to hear what an arse he is. You'll be a better judge than I about how your Mum might react of course.
See how it plays out with the girl you were with. It's out of your hands at the moment so move it to the back of your mind if you can. Not much experience with this one I'm afraid.
It will get you down at times but don't let it take you any lower than it needs to be. Make sure you stay in touch with friends and keep up with the things you enjoy.
See a doctor about your depression even if you don't want to take any medication. They can still offer advice and it can relieve some stress talking about it. Writing about stuff can help too, so you might want to keep a diary. It can really help get things into perspective and you can figure out why some things bother you so much.
Do all, some or none of the above. Whatever works for you. I have had experience with depression both with me and a couple of friends.
Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for more advice.
kill the girl and rob banks for a living, nothing more to say about that.. :angel:
well or just listen to one of the other guys ;)
17 is nothing. Make a fresh start at a new college is the best advice I could offer.
Although public forums are not exactly the best place to spill your guts and ask
people about what you should do.
join the military. serve your country. :D
17 is nothing. Make a fresh start at a new college is the best advice I could offer.
Although public forums are not exactly the best place to spill your guts and ask
people about what you should do.
Exactly a forum for a mmo is the last place any NORMAL person would go to for advice on this sort of stuff. Dont you have any friends or relatives who can help you with your problems.
This kind of shit is for the amusing agony aunt columns of the newspapers not a NC forum.
Going to work now will mean you'll either work minimum wage for a long time or have a realy hard time getting up the ladder.
GO BACK TO COLLEGE !!!!!
Exactly a forum for a mmo is the last place any NORMAL person would go to for advice on this sort of stuff.True... but to our credit the first 3 responders responded seriously. :)
I do it, ask for advice on forums but usually more than looking for advice I'm just trying to freak people out. :lol:
I'm back after spending 3 and a half weeks in Wales. And now I face a horrible point in my life. I need advice, Im alone, so very alone.
I'm 17 and I recently got my AS level results: all U's. I started my sixth form late because I'd been to a previous school and didn't like it, suffered depression, rows with dad, glandular fever and all sorts of emotional crap. Then for the past 6 months or so I've been feeling low and don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can either go to another college and have a fresh start. Or go into work, although that option is bollocks because there are very few good jobs at my age and I lack some skills.
My GCSE results:
English: A
English Lit: B
Drama: A
Media Studies: B
Geography: C
Science: C
IT: Pass
R.S: B or C can't remember
History: D
Maths: D
I want to find a job I enjoy. I'm thinking of becoming a free lance journalist or a councellor for kids.
Here is also another problem: I have had unprotected sex with a girl who has a boyfriend and she COULD be carrying my child :(
I'm scared people. My life has taken a nose dive. My relationship with my father is horrible. My mum recently married a guy she met on the internet, and he is a complete wierdo prick who makes snide comments about me.
I need advice, support and I hope this community can deliver :(
Let's start in order.
3 and a half weeks in Wales doing what? Something you really enjoy? (I'm guessing your drama group here from previous posts of yours) That could be the first clue for your future career. Look how many actors / writers out there haven't got a qualification between them. Now look again at your own qualifications in comparison: As in English and Drama, Bs in English lit and Media studies. Now look at your 'unofficial' qualifications: Themed stories written by yourself (some penned in no time at all) that made me piss myself laughing - and i'm older than you ;)
So even if you don't pursue acting, then writing for stage, screen or whatever could be your thing. You need to get yourself a good agent. I'm sure your drama teacher(s) could point you in the right direction here.
As for finding a new college, you can do that at ANY age. You're only 17 after all and people are at college / uni in their 20s, 30s, even 50s who are learning new things to get new careers.
You say that going to work is "bollocks because there are very few good jobs at my age" and you "lack some skills." It's true that 'good' jobs are indeed rare at your age, but paying jobs still exist if you're strapped for cash and you don't mind sweating it out in something that isn't your 'thing'. It only has to be temporary. It all boils down to what you mean by a 'good' job. Lacking some skills? Focus on what you have rather than what you haven't. If you can't fit into a situation, find a situation that fits YOU. If you elaborate on your strengths, you may get some better advice in this department.
As for the girl / kid thing... well 'oh crap' springs to mind, but is this just your overactive imagination or do you know for a FACT she's up the duff? You didn't say. If not, you can cross your fingers and don't be so bloody stupid again unless you know she is meeting you halfway regarding precautions. If she IS, then i'll refer you back to Crazy's post, of which the first option is probably too late, but the second option is worth discussion with the girl in question, but not here. You will need to consider your own financial position as well as hers in this discussion.
Regarding the situation with your parents, it's a shame that it appears on the surface that you can't rely on them for support, but do they know of your NEED for support? Back to the 'is she or isn't she' question, would either of them REALLY turn their back on you if the worst happened? Getting on with your folks and relying on them are different matters entirely. I never got on with my dad, but while he was alive he would still have bailed me out of the shit had the need arisen. Soon, you will be getting on with life without your folks anyway as you get your own life, own bird and own place etc. The one constant in your life right now should be your friends. RL ones, that is, although i understand the need to ask for advice on this forum. This community is quite close-knit and you can get a quicker and more informative answer here from a wide range of peoples' experience than anywhere else. Contrary to what previous posters have said, this forum CAN be the place to answer a simple question, as long as posters who reply give objective answers without prejudice. You can pick and choose whose advice you take seriously. The general pattern of replies and their similarities will show you whom you can and cannot trust. I've asked questions on here before now and found useful advice.
Talk to your closest friend about what you're afraid of. Talk to this girl again about the REAL situation. (Be prepared to ask for proof in case she's trying it on to get money out of you. Just a thought - im only playing devil's advocate here) Getting a decent job these days is more about WHO you know, not WHAT you know. Talk to people. You've shown you're already good at that ;) Let it work to your advantage and never be afraid to ask for a favour.
Hope this helps :)
Just roll your life forward every day. Forget about the past and concentrate on how you can make this new day the start of something better.
Do the same thing tomorrow.
N
Hmm... Nid, that reminds me of a saying:
"Today is the tomorrow you feared yesterday, and all is well"
Roc-a-fella
20-08-06, 23:55
Damn man i was goin thru the same shit in highschool for real... This next year im goin to college for something that i like doing (Television broadcasting) so i hope it turns out good.
The only advice i can give you is if you feel a certain way, if its not caused by the people around you or just your general surrounding then this wont go away.
I've been through ALOT of shit in my lifetime... im only 18 but my life has been full of some shit for real. Just relax man, i know its hard to do. Stop smoking/drinking... talk to a few girls goto the movies, go out to eat. Somethin man, change IS good. Do something that you havent done since you were a kid or something. Call up a old friend and hang out. I say you should stay in college that way you can pursue something that you do LIKE to do.
Right now you need to get your mind right and just need to focus on the task at hand. Either your living at home or in a dorm just try to get along with the people around you for the time being. This whole life is like a hustle you gotta bear through all the bullshit until you find one that you wanto keep. By then you should of passed MOST of the bullshit but your always gonna be dealing with something so its just better to get used to it.
Im probobly not one to try and give advice like im 70 years old but most of what the grown folk say is true. Shit you do now like not going to college and taking opportunities will bite you in the ass when you get older and no longer have the chance to do any of these things. Hope some of this helped.
Just an afterthought...
You mentioned a career option being counselling for kids. This could be an option for you later in life, but from your first post i would consider this to be a long term option rather than a possibility in the short term. What i mean is: In that job, kids are going to come to you with EXACTLY the same questions you raise in your post. To help with their problems, you need to have answers to your own. By all means, pursue your dreams. Just remember that counselling will need more than just qualifications on paper; life experience is the best entry on your CV here. Learn about the career and train for it, just plan for the 'endgame' in the long term with other paying jobs in the meantime.
next year im goin to college for something that i like doing (Television broadcasting) so i hope it turns out good.Cool. What department in broadcasting?
Sorry to drag this off-topic, but i went to college for the exact same thing - TV production ;)
Roc-a-fella
21-08-06, 00:49
haha i wento a tradeschool for 1 year for this and i liked it so im going to college for it now. Its CALLED radio/television broadcasting but im very good/fast at editing anything... video... audio... i also like being a camera man an making my own short films/music videos.
RogerRamjet
21-08-06, 01:16
You got good GCSEs, and i know youre a very intelligent guy, so get back to college. I hated my college, but get your head down and do it, and do something you enjoy.
Family issues, i cant really help, but they are your parents. No matter how bad it gets you are their son. Hell, my dad though i was gay and failing my exams for a bit (one of those statements is true, i'll let you decide which).
As for unprotected sex, ive been in that situation twice, and fortunately its turned out OK. If it doesnt however, i guess you'll have to speak with her very seriously. I assume she's the same age as you, so neither of you will particulary want a child (i think).
Anyway, good luck with everything, i hope it turns out OK.
dude just get a part time job and get stoned everyday
hmmmmmmmmmmmm cheese burger brb !!
RogerRamjet
Family issues, i cant really help, but they are your parents. No matter how bad it gets you are their son. Hell, my dad though i was gay and failing my exams for a bit (one of those statements is true, i'll let you decide which).
i think its the 1st no the 2nd no 1st has to be
witch one was it roger ????
I now how it is having a shit life m8.
Apart from small shit like my Brother and mum couldnt get along and he went to live with my Aunt when he was 14, i was 6. and my sister moving out at 13 to a foster home because she was uncontrolable. I was 12 when she moved out, just 9 months younger. Altho she got into Drugs/Herion/ and more... Even did abit or PP3 hooker'n. (Luckily she is clean now tho, gotta 2 year old baby, , btw Nephews suck.... 1 more Birthday a year to pay for :p )
My life from 12-14 was fine tbh, after my sister moved out...
Kinda fucked up tho when my dad died . i was 14 , only one in the house... he had fallen down the stairs and cracked his skull on the chairlift -
Those 30 mins was the most horrific memories i hope to hhave, Yet i can talk about them, Ive never cried about this , never had a problem talking about it. Never felt depressed about it. --
Seconds after he fell downstairs i thought he was just knocked out, until i saw blood from his nose. Seconds later he was breating pure blood, like a tap. Phoned the ambulance service, and had to peform CPR on my dad, While he and i was covered in his blood.
No he didnt survive, He died instantly according to te Coroner. But if i can get over 30 mins of that. Then just brace yourself for a bumpy ride and remember you cant change anything that happens.
People then wanted me to have some form of council. i found it best to look at it this way --
Whatever happens. Its done. No changing it. No time machine . No worries.
If its done, its done...
After that i moved back from manchester with my mum... in the middle of my GCSE's and then my mum started drinking, and pretty much gets drunk everynight. In the house . Tho she never drinks in the day. Which is somet i suppose.
I fucked up my GCSE's. Then my first year of my Diploma because i couldnt be assed to concentrate.
But hell do i give a shit.. Ive finaly made my mind up, im calling UCAS tommorow. There is a Software Enginering Course available to Clearing. And ive got 3 (C Grade) A-Levels Standards Quals. Fuck if ive made mistakes in college. Fuck whats happend in the past. Fuck it all tbh -
Do what you want to do , The only problem is, finding what you wont to do.
oh btw, the only thing that i was most pissed off about the night my dad died would be the 27 minutes the ambulance took to get to my house... could have been 2 mins and been no help - But 27 minutes for a ambulance is disgusting -
-Edit, Oh btw did i mention i used to be amazing at spelling... Serisously.
Also, There is more wrong with my life, but its 2 personal to say on forums, and Id think people would treat me differently tbh, Kinda a
Do what you want to do , The only problem is, finding what you wont to do.
But its the "Finding" bit that is troublin me
shit sorry to hear bout it mate :(
Hell-demon
21-08-06, 11:46
Thanks guys you've helped alot.
I spent last night calling friends and checking up on them and telling my fears. I'm just willing to talk to everyone and anyone to make sense of things.
I haven't spoken to the girl who I shal refer to as "L". She lives in Wales and that is where her boyfriend is. She is a self harmer and severly mentally scarred. She was ********** at the age of 7 and never dealt with it and only admitted it to me this summer. I was the first person she ever told. Her boyfriend, "N", is also rather psychotic and carved a declaration of his love to L in his arm. I'm afraid of her welfare with him, especially as he knows about the sex and is fine with it. A little too fine. He wants to be there when she takes the pregnancy test and also take her to an abortion clinic or maybe father the child.
I think tonight I'll call her.
Today I'm going to call my school and get the no. of my councellors. They were assigned to me when my first grades in January were shit and the school realised I had problems at home.
I used to spend one week with my dad and one week with my mum. It never used to be that way. But when I was 15 my dad admitted to having an affair and also a bastard love child, my half brother, whom was kept secret from me. My mother was devestated when she found out, and all the while I had known about my brother a few months before she found out. I was told to keep his existance secret. My mother forgave me in the end.
Last year I faced the choice I face now; what to do with my life.
I chose to live with my dad full time in Mlavern and go to a sixth form there. Within a few days I despised the college and the area of Malvern. But my stern father decided against me going back to Birmingham. I at one point ran away from home. We rowed, and on top of that tension was rife in the house due partly to the arrival of my second brother. When I was hit by glandular fever I was sent to Birmingham to be away from my brothers on the count of being highly contagious. Thats when I ran off to my now ex college to enroll and take a stand againist my father. And thats a brief rendition of my life story.
Now, I'm going to make some more calls and talk to more people. I'm still thinking of colege but I'm not sure. After the college in Malvern and Birmingham, part of me thinks maybe I'm not suited to studying anymore.
Another part of me feels left out the loop if I do. Maybe if I just take 3 A levels and do subjects that appeal to me alot more. Like say Film Studies, Drama and maybe psychology but I'm not to sure.
My next step? (http://www.cadcol.ac.uk/)
You need to seriously consider finding yourself a "normal" environment to live in before you can get your life together.
Stay as far away from people with serious issues as you can. They'll just drag you along in their downward spiral.
During my teen years i used to hang out with drugusing losers who thought the whole suicided and depression scene was "cool".
I decided to change the music i listened to, my hairstyle, my clothes etc and hung out with new people. From the old gang there are some now dead and, one in jail another in a mental institution and one is on lifetime medication to appear normal.
I know you're an emotionaly sensitive person. Toughen up, build wals around you and stop trying to fix other people's problems. You are more important than others. A little egoism never hurts.
I haven't spoken to the girl who I shal refer to as "L". She lives in Wales and that is where her boyfriend is. She is a self harmer and severly mentally scarred. She was ********** at the age of 7 and never dealt with it and only admitted it to me this summer. I was the first person she ever told. Her boyfriend, "N", is also rather psychotic and carved a declaration of his love to L in his arm. I'm afraid of her welfare with him, especially as he knows about the sex and is fine with it. A little too fine. He wants to be there when she takes the pregnancy test and also take her to an abortion clinic or maybe father the child.
I think tonight I'll call her.You know man... stay the hell away from the both of them is my advice. When you don't have the benefit of clinical detachment (like a psychologist does) when you try to help people like that you end up hurting just as much as they do. I know you're not a stranger to emotional pain but some people are just walking bundles of it. But, if you decide to stay involved with her, and him by proxy, don't expect it to be easy and also don't expect other areas of your life to be less demanding just because you're trying to help an emotional wreck.
Be cautious about going back to college. You seem an intelligent enough guy (and creative to) - I think an academic envrionment would suit you. It isn't however going to work if you are going to be sat in lessons (and indeed skipping them, not doing work etc) worrying about all your issues. Maybe the new start and meeting new people would take your mind of it - but I wouldn't want to rely on that.
Oh, ad I think for Roger it has to be the 1st - after all, he got into his chose uni didn't he?
I know a few girls like "L". They can be described as troubled and trouble. You're way too young to be taking on that kind of situation and you clearly have problems of your own to deal with. Set about sorting your own head out first cos if you try to do it all your life WILL vanish down a black hole. You'll be of no use to anybody until you can think clearly yourself.
Obviously your heart go's out to the crappy life this girl is living and you want to help. Don't try and fix her it won't happen, certainly not before it gets to much for you. Talk to her if she needs someone to talk to. She appears to have accepted her life the way it is and won't strive for a better one. Trying to explain these things to her could be met with confusion and anger or she may just distance herself from you. She may not be mentally ready for a big life change or even the thought of it.
Sort yourself out first matey.
ye er... if she has the kid... n it turns out to be urs... are u realy gona be happy with some psycotic fuck raising it...
i have alot i would like to say but i wont. i dont want to cause controvacy my opinions usualy dont gel with the rest of the worlds
however
i will say fuck the college results who cares =] college is a god dam waste of time =] ur tallented with words, email a few papers and ask them what it takes to be a jurnalist for one of them. ask em what u would have to do n then just do it, do whatever they tell u needs to be done... take a job on a small paper. maby ur writing will get u noticed.
try n make peace with ur father... even if hes wrong all the time let him think hes right... learn to be a bit more manipulative. make him think ur ideas are his. like "ye ur right we should do this" when infact its ur own ideas placed in his head... apear to do whatever hes asking... dun matter if u dont do it. just make him think hes important n everything else will fall into place
mate
wales is full of L's
alot of my friends (atleast 9 of them) have been **********... welsh girls seem to have an infinity with being, or atleast crying ********... being close firends with alot of people like it. u will soon find most havent been as badly treated as they make out. although some can drive u to a point of wanting to seriousely cause some damage to a few sick n twisted men.
we have all had periods of depression... the only thing u can realy do is rely on ur friends to get u through... at the end of the day... friends are all that matter... and even if u cant rely on them all the time irl were all still here for u ^_^
Hell-demon
21-08-06, 21:54
Well, today I started filling in a college application...but did not finish. Tomorrow I'm going to call school and get the no. of my councellors. And...yeah
I dunno what I want. Well, I do, it's just how I go about getting it. I want money and I want to get in the way I want to earn it. Papa needs some new rock boots.
I've been planning what I want out of life. I want to escape my living arrangements and live with mate somewhere. Be able to sleep in my own room, have a nice computer (not top of the line), get muscles, have a a job I enjoy, have a girlfriend and just surround myself with friends.
I want adventure. Maybe I should say " Fuck college". I mean my friend Dave is planning a back packing trip around europe for next year. I have to save up £600 for it but it's an adventure. I've never been abroad :)
Tonight I may call L. I'm going to say "See a doctor he can help with your womb and your mind" and also that she should tell her mom if she is pregnant.
On Wednesday I'm going to see Dave. He gets back from holiday and I'm going to treat him to a cup of coffee and a chat. He should help me clear my head. All my friends can.
Here's a song for you Hell-demon... this dude sings with such pain it makes me cry if I dive into the music, if you can download the thing do it.
Seether - The Gift
Hold me now I need to feel relief
Like I never wanted anything
I suppose I'll let this go and find a reason I'll hold on to
I'm so ashamed of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to get by
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
I can't face myself when I wake up
And look inside a mirror
I'm so ashamed of that thing
I suppose I'll let it go
Until I have something more to say for me
I'm so afraid of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to defy
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
Hold me now I need to feel complete
Like I matter to the one I need
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
Now I'm ashamed of this
I am so ashamed of this
Now I'm so ashamed of me
I am so ashamed of me...
Hell-demon
22-08-06, 11:07
Pretty :)
awkward silence
22-08-06, 21:59
umm
I think I have two kids that sorta came by accident. The one that is surely mine (a 3 year old girl) lives in another country. The boy (that is probably not biologically mine) is around and i try to see him as much as possible.
Honestly ive been fuckin carefull and ive had sex without a condom twice and one of those times with a girl that doesnt have a uteris anymore.
Point is mate that we all make mistakes and we just have to take responsibility. Theres always a few seconds where you get to think if to go with it or not.
Have you asked her what she wants the child or if she is actually pregnant?
And from your posts i didnt get a clear picture of what you want (regarding the umm...fetus). Figure those two out and yer half way.
Roc-a-fella
23-08-06, 02:41
After reading that. All i can say is...
Stay up, take this shit one day at a time cause thats all you can do. And WHATEVER YOU DO. stay the FUCK away from the police and dont you dare do illegal stuff cause thats just more bullshit that you'll have to go through.
Asurmen Spec Op
23-08-06, 03:04
Revan,
generally I cant think of anything supportive like alot of people here..
So Ill just say, chear up, youre good at making people laugh and I <3 you. Look at what you have going for you before anything else.
~assy
Heavyporker
23-08-06, 05:22
All I can say... explore things. You're 17, that's nothing. You got your whole friggin' life ahead of you.
Though the child shall seriously crimp your lifestyle if yours. If it is and she wants to have it, I'm sorry, but you really should step up to the plate and help care for it.
If things turn shit-side up, at least with your writing ambitions you'll have a slightly more interesting autobiography to write about. :p
Hell-demon
23-08-06, 16:11
The child will definetly be mine as I'm the only person she has consentingly had sex with. Today I went into town and did soem shopping and still felt shit. Though I did meet my good friend Dave who I look up to, and he gave me support. He gave me the number of a company called Stage Craft who do jobs for theatres and the like, mostly technical stuff.
Now I've been thinking of College, in essence I NEED it. Those A levels will help me good. Unfortunetly there is one snag: my school needs to give a reference.
Shit.
They need to tick boxes saying how my attendance and attitude to work is. The past academic year has been terrible. Poor attendance, depression and I did bad in my studies (no help to my psychology teacher spending most of her time looking after her kid, my drama teacher fucking up our drama exam and my drama group being comprised of 5 people).
I will work harder, I got THE FEAR, so I will be motivated. It's just that I'm running out of time and everyone is focusing on my sister getting married this saturday.
Dribble Joy
23-08-06, 17:42
If you had depression and you were seeing someone about it, then that should go on the reference or you should inform the college. Otherwise you will get shafted for no reason. Mental illness is taken quite seriously in higher education (I've had counselling too).
As for the kid, remember it's as much yours as it is hers, unless she's willing to go to court to keep it, I wouldn't (personally) let it go ahead. You are way too young - both of you - and it will fuck up your life, especially given the current circumstances.
Before someone starts ranting about pro choice rights and responsibilities, keep in mind that you're having a hard enough time getting your own life on track. "L" also seems to have some troubles. Another responsibility could really tip you over the edge and drive the pair of you apart as friends. I’ve seen that happen a few times, when neither parent can handle the extra pressure stand well back because it will blow.
On the flip side, becoming a parent can give you a focus athletes would kill for on the field. Everything else in life can pale to that of parenthood and seem less worrying and taxing.
I've seen good men (and relationships) crumble under the pressure, and criminal scally's become fantastic fathers. You really don't know which one you will become until it happens, but I do know that giving yourself the best opportunity and life possible first can help a hell of a long way. Don't rush into anything, do what’s best for you and most of all, stay sane. Not completely sane of course cos then you'd have no personality. ;)
Remember that everything you read in this thread is just advice and peoples own preference, choose bits of it or none of it. Just whatever feels right with you.
If someone who posts here makes a lot of sense to you I doubt they'd mind if you PM'd them about it, I wouldn't but I waffle a load of shite most of the time so hey-ho. :)
Dribble Joy
23-08-06, 23:41
[ edited ]
Hell-demon
24-08-06, 11:50
Feel free to PM me advice and the like.
No spam please.
My mate Dave goes travelling with friends next year. Suffice to say he didn't balls up his grades.
Going to finish my application form to college and call up my old school and A) Get no. of the councellors and
B) Talk to head of sixth form and say "Gime a kind reference please..."
Doing that in 15 minutes....
RogerRamjet
24-08-06, 22:23
Just out of interest, has the girl decided to keep the child?
(sorry if it sounds a little harsh).
(and sorry if its been answered already)
Hell-demon
24-08-06, 22:55
There is Hope!
Spoken to "L" two pregnant tests...both negative.
Got the no. of my councellors and the dude told me that tomorrow he'll get the office staff to make a kick ass phoney reference for the college.
There might be hope for me yet :D
There is Hope!
Spoken to "L" two pregnant tests...both negative.
Got the no. of my councellors and the dude told me that tomorrow he'll get the office staff to make a kick ass phoney reference for the college.
There might be hope for me yet :D
First of all, I've read through this entire thread, and could I just say - I fucking admire you dude.
From what I gather, recently your life has been wave upon wave of shit, crap and faeces. Now i've suffered depression, i've been the lowest of the low, admittedly, i've never had as much crap as you've had, but i've had a fair bit thrown at me. But the difference is, I sat in my room and cried myself over it all. Worst decision I ever made. But you, dude, you have the bollocks, grit and determination to look life in the face, spit in it's eye and tell it to go fuck itself in the ass with a deoderent (sp?) can. And your a bigger person that most people ever will be for doing that.
the only advice I can give is, once you've got your college stuff sorted out, surround yourself with friends. dont let more than 2 days go by where you don't see a friend. Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow. Your the only one that can live your life, make sure you carry on as you are, and live it to the absolute max.
I just added you on MSN because I wanna talk to you, this whole thread has sort of given me the urge to talk to you more.
and as far as careers go, I think you should do something to do with writing. You've written things on these forums which to be fair, most people loved.
Seriously, I admire you for having the bollocks to do what your doing, and keep it up. Im sure you'll have the full support of everyone on this board, cos hell you deserve it.
Keep it up, and good luck with everything.
Opar
RogerRamjet
25-08-06, 02:52
I'm pretty certain i had depression in year 10/11 and first year college (and a friend who studies Psychology at Uni pretty much told me so when i named all the things that were up with me).
Severe apathy, no sex drive, the works.
I put it down to listening to too much Joy Division though, and being a teenager.
Joy Division will wreck your mind! Stay away!
RogerRamjet
25-08-06, 03:14
Joy Division will wreck your mind! Stay away!
It makes great NC sound tracks though.
NC will wreck your mind! Stay away!
Hell-demon
25-08-06, 12:06
My dad and sister are against me going to college. My sister rips up my application forms :rolleyes:
Oh well, despite this I've hidden a filled application form in my room, and with help from a councellor by the name of Azgar (if that is his real name), I'll have a reference of good grade A bullshit. Guess my year at sixthform wasn't a waste if I made great connections like this. His councelling consisting of driving me round town in his BMW with the sun roof down talking about life.
If I do fail to get into college then I'm a bit screwed. Although Azgar could get me to work for him (totally awesome if so). Or I'm going to working with a stage company being a roadie (not really what I want to do). Most good jobs require me to be 18 (I'm 18 in 4 months).
I got back on saturday and since then I've had no time to play Nc, just stressing and sorting shit out. But tonight I'll log in and all will be zen.
I'll keep you updated.
If you excuse me Azgar is going to get a phone call which will have him comandinga n army of office lackeys to make me a reference that will be kick ass (fingers crossed) :)
Dribble Joy
25-08-06, 12:17
My dad and sister are against me going to college. My sister rips up my application forms :rolleyes:
Why? O_o
Why? O_o
Good question. If it continues, ask Azgar to keep hold of such things. Avoid talk about college with your Dad and Sister. Mention that roadie job to them as a possibility to throw them off.
Hell-demon
25-08-06, 12:50
well they don't think I'm college material.
My dad was furious when I decided I didn't want to be at The Chase and go back to my now ex-sixthform. He said I'd fail and be back and square one (bastard was right), and he thinks along with my sister, who was also annoyed, that I'll just fail again and ahve wasted 2 years.
A part of em thinks they are right, but then i need more qualifications. And now that i don't have to spend a week in malvern and a week in birmingham constantly I have more stability. That and this is a college and not part of a secondary school. I will have proper facilities unlike my last college, which idea of a sixth form centre as a room on top of the cantine and a computer room with only 5 functional computers.
Still I am to blame for my lack of work. I was lazy and tired (partly due to glandular fever) and also depression had effect. My work was never up to date as I started the course late thanks to my dad refusing to let me go back. So when i finished one assignment, 3 more cropped up. In the end the shitty teachers and flaws of the sixth form got to me. So after the exams I went to school but didn't attend lessons. A2 drama wasn't going to happen anymore due to low numbers (it would of been just me and a friend doing it) and i just wanted a break.
Sadly my dad got wind from school I was bunking off and we ended up argueing to the extent I barricaded myself in the house, called up school for help and went on the roof (a story for another time).
So thats why I'm considered not college material :p
Surely you wanting to make amends to your education is a reason to celebrate? Well, I think so anyway, and to show my support I shall celebrate until you complete your courses. :D I'll see if I can get sposored by the local Bargain Booze offlicence or something. Good luck matey, I'm happy that everything seems to be working out for you.
Pregnancy tests from the chemists are as acurate as hospital tests now, so I'd say you're in the clear. :)
Hi Hell-Demon. I’ve been watching this thread a little, and I thought it’s time I said something. ;)
First of all, you have sorted the first big problem out, and that is “L”, she’s not pregnant. Remember you faced up to the problem, asked for advice, got her to take some tests, and found out she is negative. You didn’t hide or run away.
Put the problems of “L” behind you now, and move forward to the next step, your future.
To me, I think you believe you are college material. Forget what your Dad and Sister think, as the only person who knows you best, is yourself. You know what mistakes you made, and why you didn’t get the grades, learn from those mistakes, which you are doing now! (I know glandular fever and depression didn’t help a bit here)
So why don’t you go and get another college form, and fill it in, if thats what you want to do.
Keep thinking positive, smile, and take it easy. I know you can do it, and so do the rest of us on this forum believe you can do it.
Hell-demon
25-08-06, 17:27
Azkar you the man!
Here is a copy of the reference I was made:
To Whom It May Concern,
I have known Paul Turrell for the past academic year as he attended Bourneville 6th Form. He has volunteered at my office on numerous occasions helping with day-to-day activities. This was greatly appreciated, as his contribution to the running of the office was essential. His communication skills are excellent and he is a very hard working individual.
He participated in many workshops at the school that were about students discussing their problems with myself and another member of staff. In these workshops that were a cross between mentoring and counselling Paul was very open and honest which allowed him and others to benefit from them enormously. He is never afraid to ask for help and has an ability to learn things at speed.
Due to extenuating difficult circumstances (family problems and stress) he was not able to participate fully in his education but now he is more stable and we feel due to his natural intelligence and ability he should be able to do well in education. He never gives up and this sort of fighting attitude will help him succeed in life. He has a tremendous ability and it has been a pleasure working alongside such great talent.
******************
All of which is bollocks. I stepped foot in the office once. But hey if it helps me secure a place I can lie my pants off.
Maybe his office was his BMW? :p
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