View Full Version : Internet Dating
Ive always been one of those people that just didnt get internet dating. I would more or less make fun of people that had met over the net. Well, lol, i think ive been converted :eek:
So i break up with my gf of 2 years a few months ago. yeah it sucked, but ive gotten over it. Girls have tried to get with me, and i just havnt had the drive to be in a relationship. Until i meet a certain person on the net a couple days ago. We talked for about 10 hours yesterday, half of that with a cam (not much of a camwhore myself, lol). It was probably one of the best conversations ive had in a long time. Ive talked to people online before, but never for more than 2 hours.... much less 10! I come to find out that this woman is deaf. But you know what? I dont care!
I want to meet her, but im worried that the lack of communication would suck. We could always write to eachother, but that might be odd. I only know of a few choice phrases in sign language, but they aint nice, lol. She is, however, gung ho for us meeting somewhere.
Whats sad is I cant seem to get her out of my mind. her smile is simply... amazing (from what i can tell from the cam). And i cant get her out of my head.
So what yall think i should do? What experience have yall had, if any, with internet relationships?
people you meet online are rarely ever who they say they are, dont take how things are now as any sort of sign, meet her, get to know her and make your own mind up, if its a bad situation, walk away.
It's that simple.
As for her being deaf, so what.
Hell-demon
06-02-05, 21:14
Go for it.
As for the communication gap with deafness its no biggy. Use your body language that is what most of comunication is about. I met this girl in a club could'nt hear a word she was saying and likewise, but using my body language and gestures I was giving out my phone number later on.
Then I found out one of my mates had fucked her. "Thunder Thighs" he called her. My heart was torn :(
You just talk it through with her..I'm sure she will understand. She may well lip read in which case if and when you meet her just remember to talk and make your mouth make the words as clearly as you can.
I'm sure if she wants to see you there will be a way she is expecting to communicate back with you.
Erring on the other side of the river. Keep it online, lack of communication isn't the issue. I'd probably be more worried about the fact that it's a complete and total stranger, and the only gauge you can measure with is the conversation you had.
Granted it's no better a gauge than a drunken one night stand, or a conversation in a nightclub but still, I don't really advocate all this internet dating shite.
Sorry pal. :(
(in no way trying to bring you down here, just my view thats all)
darknessfairy
07-02-05, 00:23
My personal opinion on meeting people off of the internet...
1) if there are a few of you (i,e you and your friends) meeting a few of her/him and their friends, provided you tell someone else before doing so. (So that you have someone NOT there knowing where you are, and people there with you so you don't get accosted or something) then i think it is ok. After a certain period of time. Talking for 10 hours doesnt qualify knowing someone properly enough to meet, you'll want to talk for a couple of weeks, even a month, just to make sure that he/she is consistant with what they say.
2) Never ever go on your own, esp if you havent told someone where you are going.
3) Never lie to someone on the internet, esp if you end up meeting up, even if you lie about your hair color, it creates mistrust within the relationship... just think if it was them... if they lied about their hair color, what else could they have lied about?
4) I know a few "younger" people read these forums, and please don't even contemplate meeting anyone, not at your age at least, unfortunately, one of the beautiful things about youth is ignorance. It's a wonderful thing to watch until someone gets hurt. (and please no one say that there are no one that young around here, cos i know different :p )
5) Always meet in a public place.. Some where open. Again, tellin someone where you are going to be. If you change your location un expectidly, phone that person and tell them where you are moving to.
Overall, i think once you have gotten to know her a bit, and have sussed out a way of communication (theres a good way to bring friends into the equation :) ) i dont see a problem with it.
Just please follow some simple guidelines :p
That applies to you all.
/me ends mothering community :)
(and please no one say that there are no one that young around here, cos i know different :p )
Hey Leave me out of this! My mental age was my best kept secret! :eek:
Err... yeah, she's right though... personally I don't think the deafness is a big deal, if all else fails you can write on paper! A freind I used to know from uni always did it when he went out to a club with us, he's very near to deafness himself, and he didn't mind one bit about us writing messages out for him.
I think the deciding factor will be her anyway - y'know about the whole, "I can't hear ya" thing... Makes for an uncormfortable situation, and knowing how iffy women are (I found the manual DF! :p ) then, yeah...
sorry - my train of thought derailed at that point... I was sat for a full 3 minutes trying to continue that sentence...
It was a terrible tragedy... many braincells I dearly loved that I'll never get back :( ah well, time for a beer :p
Very sound advise from DF there..Kiddies take heed.
Very sound advise from DF there..Kiddies take heed.
Iīll just act as if I didnīt misunderstand that sentence....
Iīll just act as if I didnīt misunderstand that sentence....
Its an informal word for 'good' e.g a 'sound basis'
i got a mate thats deaf, one night we were in plymouth and went to a greek restraunt. cause of all the background noise she had to turn her aids off, if it wasnt for the fact that my other mate knew sign language, she woulda gone barmy :p
oh ya, ppl on the internet never tell the truth about themselves, well most people, they lie about age, religion, relationships, work blah blah, internet is the worst place in the world for just meeting people. Not sayin this girls lyin about anything mind you, just sayin it takes a *long* time to trust someone on the interweb, so get to know her first, and ask for ID :p
Its an informal word for 'good' e.g a 'sound basis'
ye but i read
Very sound advise from DF there..Kiddies take heed.
as
Very sound advise from DF there, Kiddies take head...
which sort of has a totally different and very wrong meaning.
which again was why i wanted to act as if i didnt misunderstand it.
Well, if i do meet her, itll be at a starbucks in the middle of the day, so no worries there, hehe.
Personally, i see no difference between meeting someone online, and speaking for a few hours, and going to a club and meeting someone there. And i know for a fact that this is not gonna be a 33 year old, 487 pound guy guy named ralph, hehe.
And the fact that shes deaf is not even an issue for me.
Well, if i do meet her, itll be at a starbucks in the middle of the day, so no worries there, hehe.
Personally, i see no difference between meeting someone online, and speaking for a few hours, and going to a club and meeting someone there. And i know for a fact that this is not gonna be a 33 year old, 487 pound guy guy named ralph, hehe.
And the fact that shes deaf is not even an issue for me.
the guys called William then ? :p
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry... couldnīt resist.
Nah seriously, if you think you really care for someone over the internet, the only real way is to either just meet up and see how it goes, or go the long way, talk over webcam for a while and then go meet and see how it goes.
So long as you're sure who she says she is, meet her. It's like a pre-arranged just meeting somebody off the street except you know them a little, which can be a bit weird at first but can be an easy basis to start some conversation on.
Good luck. :)
Well, if i do meet her, itll be at a starbucks in the middle of the day, so no worries there, hehe.
Personally, i see no difference between meeting someone online, and speaking for a few hours, and going to a club and meeting someone there. And i know for a fact that this is not gonna be a 33 year old, 487 pound guy guy named ralph, hehe.
And the fact that shes deaf is not even an issue for me.
just remember to not look too shocked when she tells you about the sex change :angel:
Welllll... I have one experience on internet "dating".
I've been talking in irc with this one girl, quite ... hours every day. Now we've been seeing each others at the clubs etc. And now I think she's my girlfriend? O_o
Love with first typo :)
Bugs Gunny
07-02-05, 11:39
After getting divorce i've had a bit of a "wild" life for a while.
I went out clubbing every other weekend, and on top of that when i was home i'd chat a bit and do some internet dating.
It ended up being a life full of sexual encounters, and trust me, women are worse than men, they just don't admit it.
I've met two realy nice women whom is still talk to from time to time.
After about a year and a half i got so tired of all those meaningles encounters that i just quit doing it.
Two months later i met an old GF again.
Everyone must have that one person whom they thought was the most beautiful and perfect partner they ever had.... well she was my "dreamgirl" from when i was 17. We live together now and things are wonderful.
From all the people i know that do cyberdating, i can't say a lot of them got a good relationship from meeting people on the internet.
Most people tend to lie about who they are, and you meet some realy weird people too:
I had one that was taking prozac and sedatives like candy, and another one that brought her mother to the first date, to see if she aproved of me...... All funny stuff if you think back on it :-)
But it is still possible to find someone that is compatible. From the 25+ women i dated during that time i'd say three were compatible.
Well, i met her, hehe. And we had a GREAT day. The language barrier wasnt really an issue, and the whole xperience was very comfortable, with the possible exception of the first 10 minutes, which was more or less expected.
Anywhoo, we met at starbucks, then walked to a nearby park, writing back and forth the entire way, hehe. Then she came up with the idea of going to the arcade, i was like "OMG KEWL!!". I come to find out that she LOVES video games! She kicked my ass at soul calibur 2, lol, and im pretty decent. Shes really not into computer games but consoles, fine by me though, hehe.
Then we went to one of her friends house (whos also deaf). Her friend has a boyfriend whos hearing so we had a good conversation. We watched american idol (ironic eh? lol, its her fav show) then a couple movies. Then i wook her home, kissed her on the hand, and i came home, hehe. im going back tonight to hang out with them some more.
So it wasnt a internet dating horror story by any means. ;)
darkservent
09-02-05, 22:00
WOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! Try get her into NC atleast.
Thats great..
Iīm so happy for you, I really am. :)
Well, i met her.....
glad to hear it worked out for the best :p
Well, i met her, hehe. And we had a GREAT day. The language barrier wasnt really an issue, and the whole xperience was very comfortable, with the possible exception of the first 10 minutes, which was more or less expected.
Anywhoo, we met at starbucks, then walked to a nearby park, writing back and forth the entire way, hehe. Then she came up with the idea of going to the arcade, i was like "OMG KEWL!!". I come to find out that she LOVES video games! She kicked my ass at soul calibur 2, lol, and im pretty decent. Shes really not into computer games but consoles, fine by me though, hehe.
Then we went to one of her friends house (whos also deaf). Her friend has a boyfriend whos hearing so we had a good conversation. We watched american idol (ironic eh? lol, its her fav show) then a couple movies. Then i wook her home, kissed her on the hand, and i came home, hehe. im going back tonight to hang out with them some more.
So it wasnt a internet dating horror story by any means. ;)
A gentleman to the end eh? ;)
Glad it went well.
Go for it....
Worst case scenario... You die...
:angel:
:lol: thanks for the support guys
Well done...Plight.
Hope it goes well for you both.
[TgR]KILLER
10-02-05, 05:03
meh din't read all replies as its 4 am and i really should go to sleep :X
anyway i'v known this one girl even before i had internet by txting lol. know her for about 4 years now.. and last cristmass holiday i finally got to meet her irl ( some dj was playing in a club were she lives.. and as a joke i said i'll come to.. but i actually went :) ) so anyway had a great time. and luck had it we went on holiday close to were she lives the week after.. so met her again spended a day with her. went swimming and stuff.. she's <3
but just 1 differnt thing. knew her for 4 years ;) already wrote letters and stuff up and down. called a few times etc.. i wouldn't rush into things esp if you just know her for a few days..
Im sure youve already thought of this one:-
http://www.masterstech-home.com/ASLDict.html
Last internet date - all I can say is "bunny boiller" :eek:
Original monk
10-02-05, 15:26
i dont have alot of experience with internet dating, not to say none at all altough a person should have tried everything in he's life atleast once :)
anyway thingie i wanted to say is quite simple,
love doesnt need no sound :) it only needs 2 people :)
im glad you enjoy yourself with youre new girlfriend or soon to be girlfriend, have a blast i would say :)
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