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Child: "Daddy, how was I born?"
Dad: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a private room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:
"You've Got Male!"
===
hehehe, gotta laugh at that really.
but women are evil and are the source of all bad in this world, women should be hunted down like animals and fed to guinea pigs in new guinea pig, honest, women do your head in and make you want to commit mass genocide! or maybe thats just the women i make my ex's... one or the other
so ya, kewl joke :D
Wraith Guard
16-01-05, 01:59
hehe. agreed, women suck especially feminsits: http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=fem************2
Hell-demon
16-01-05, 02:06
oh boy here we go
Blame feminists for your problems :rolleyes:
Fairly funny joke I guess, but I got one....
2 homeless people at a train station discussing their sex lives...
Hobo 1: I remember my first time she was great I was having the best sex until she came across a pin and then she popped and...well that was the end of that relationship...
Hobo 2: Bah thats crap. But me I found a gal right here at the station. In fact I found her on the tracks and quickly rescued her. Then we just fucked like animals on the discovery channel.
Hobo 1: Woah what did she look like?
Hobo 2: I dunno I never found her head
:lol: :lol: :lol: :wtf:
oh boy here we go
Blame feminists for your problems :rolleyes:
Fairly funny joke I guess, but I got one....
2 homeless people at a train station discussing their sex lives...
Hobo 1: I remember my first time she was great I was having the best sex until she came across a pin and then she popped and...well that was the end of that relationship...
Hobo 2: Bah thats crap. But me I found a gal right here at the station. In fact I found her on the tracks and quickly rescued her. Then we just fucked like animals on the discovery channel.
Hobo 1: Woah what did she look like?
Hobo 2: I dunno I never found her head
:lol: :lol: :lol: :wtf:
LOL! thats funny :lol: sorry Lexx you joke just got pwned m8 :(
LOL! thats funny :lol: sorry Lexx you joke just got pwned m8 :(
heh, yeah, that ones damn funny :D :lol: :lol:
/edit - btw, I have nothing against femenists, as long as they cook, clean tidy up after me, do as they are told and never leave the kitchen, I'm cool with them :D
lexx leads the community to the un-developed far east where women are obedient property and men have 10 wives.
(1 for cooking, 1 for cleaning, 1 to get you beer and 7 for a different one for each day of the week)
*starts petition to make lexx king*
Hell-demon
16-01-05, 17:13
Why cant polygamy be legal!
Why cant polygamy be legal!
too many mother in laws
the mother in laws would be property too.
worth less than the dog :p
that hobo jokes funny lol
but meh, women aint so bad :p
that hobo jokes funny lol
but meh, women aint so bad :p
I'm sure there are some really nice women, just not on this planet, they all turn out to be sociopathic bitches with inate ability to lie about anything and everything, you say "hows the weather?" and she says "sunny!" and you look out the window its a force9 gale, rain lashing down all over the place!! women are evil!! (or maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age :angel: )
I'm sure there are some really nice women, just not on this planet, they all turn out to be sociopathic bitches with inate ability to lie about anything and everything, you say "hows the weather?" and she says "sunny!" and you look out the window its a force9 gale, rain lashing down all over the place!! women are evil!! (or maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age :angel: )
Pfft - either that or they want to rip your balls off for talking to someone :p
I'm in the shiznit at the mo, she's my buddies GF and she's going Ape shit at me over someone I know. :confused:
I'm sure there are some really nice women, just not on this planet, they all turn out to be sociopathic bitches with inate ability to lie about anything and everything, you say "hows the weather?" and she says "sunny!" and you look out the window its a force9 gale, rain lashing down all over the place!! women are evil!! (or maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age :angel: )
actually i had a think and your're right, all the women in my family are nuts, totally, aunts, nan, mum, sister. Now normally i would exclude my girlfriend but friday night that changed lol. Her little sister broke up with her boyfriend coz he tried it on and when she said no he didnt like it. When my girlfriend finds out she goes racing round the ex-boyfriends and literally drags him out of the house, now she's 5 foot 7 and light as a feather but i thought she was gunna kill him. After i dragged her off him she goes to get back in the car, so i do to, then she turns runs at him full pelt, goes to knee him in the bollox so hard he would have passed out...
misses
hits him in the knee with her knee, and they both fall over, if i had seen it on TV or summink i woulda pissed myself laughing, so i just bundled her in the car while she was dazed lol...
you're totally right, women are totally fucking nuts...
Lexx, ever cosidered turning to the other gender available? :p
Anyway, the hobo joke was class.
Lexx, ever cosidered turning to the other gender available? :p
Anyway, the hobo joke was class.
Not really no. Its much more fun to annoy girls :D
Hell-demon
17-01-05, 00:23
Oh you like my hobo joke huh well here another one....
Three prostitutes are sitting at a bar discussing how many fists they can fit into their vaginas.
Pros1: I think I can fit 1 fist in there maybe 2 if I was crazy enough.
Pros2: Ha I can fit at least 3!
The third prostitute laughed at them as she slid down her bar stool.
nah, funny but the hobo one still funnier :D
Hell-demon
17-01-05, 00:35
Got another one. Its about ladies you'll love it...
Two drunk ladies were desperate to have a piss after a night of heavy binge drinking. So very drunkily they headed to a nearby cemetary and wondered around in the dark looking for a place to piss. One of them just takes off her panties and pisses on the ground and forgets to put her panties back on. The other lady does her business but quickly looks for something to wipe herself with. She finds a card attached to a tombstone and wipes herself with it. And so very drunk they go their seperate ways and head home to their boyfriends.
The next day their two boyfriends meet up and discuss their night.
BF1: Im a little worried Jessica came home last night pretty drunk and not wearing any panties.
BF2: You think thats bad my girlfriend came home last night with a card shoved up her saying: From all the boys down at the fire station, well miss you.
hell demon gets my vote so far lol.
3am guy hears loud knocking on his door, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!! he gets out of bed, stumbles down the stairs half asleep openens the door and there is a drunk there.
Drunk says "hey man, gimme a push"
Guy goes "f** off its 3am!" slams door, gets back into bed. His wife says "who was that?" guy goes "just some stupid guy askin for a push". His wife goes "you should help him, remember that time we got stuck and needed a push?" Guy agree's, gets out of bed again, stumbles down stairs again, opens door, shouts out.
"HEY, GUY THAT NEEDS A PUSH, WHERE ARE YOU?"
Drunk replies "OVER HERE ON THE SWINGS!"
3am guy hears loud knocking on his door, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!! he gets out of bed, stumbles down the stairs half asleep openens the door and there is a drunk there.
Drunk says "hey man, gimme a push"
Guy goes "f** off its 3am!" slams door, gets back into bed. His wife says "who was that?" guy goes "just some stupid guy askin for a push". His wife goes "you should help him, remember that time we got stuck and needed a push?" Guy agree's, gets out of bed again, stumbles down stairs again, opens door, shouts out.
"HEY, GUY THAT NEEDS A PUSH, WHERE ARE YOU?"
Drunk replies "OVER HERE ON THE SWINGS!"
/set wind ambience 1
*Along roles a tumbleweed* :lol:
Hell-demon
17-01-05, 18:20
*grabs microphone off Lexxuk*
Beat it man this is my scene :D
I got one.
A man finds a lamp, it's a bit dusty, so he cleans it (as you do...). Out pops a genie! (by christ!) The genie thanks him, and says
"all you need to do, is close your eyes and imagine your fantasy woman."
He closes his eyes, opens them again, and he's stood in a bar.
He's joined by an ostrich, and a black cat. The ostrich turns around to him, and gets him a drink, a few bevvies later, he's skint, he turns to the cat and asks for a pint, who promptly tells him to piss off.
Can ya guess the fantasy?
Answer!
A generous bird with long legs and a tight pussy! :D
*cue drums*
Hell-demon
17-01-05, 20:17
*hurls whiskey bottle at Spermy*
:p
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