Coming Out?

[-=Dredduk=-]

hi this is like the only forum i use and know i can get help from... so i wanted to know is it ok at the age of 16 to be thinking about the same sex? cause ive been having feeling about one of my best mates nick :( help please

[Tyr]

Thread moved.

[garyu69]

A forum i used to work on there was one member on there who came out. Was a bit strange in using a public forum to do so, but they felt comfortable in doing so.

He was 16 at the time too, he was certain he would be that way forever and he may well be. But still young and things may change. Just let things happen. If its meant to be it will.

[-=Dredduk=-]

i just have a bad feeling that people will find out at school and take the piss out of me :( things like that

[garyu69]

thats the bad thing, they probably will, but if you don't let it show that it bothers you they'll soon get bored just like any other bullie.

But it would get easier the older you get because then you'll know who your real friends actually are.

[Spermy]

Thread moved.

How understanding :angel:

Schoolkids are teh suck. Piss may well be taken. See, thats where Fistiness comes in handy.


/Has gay mates - are funny when pissed. ARE NOT however, Funny when Vomitting on Meh Shirt.

[steweygrrr]

*Also has gay mates. Also very funny people. Also not as funny when you are holding her hair back so she doesn't puke in it and gets your hand.

[Idola]

Said I'd stick to the RPG forum, but on seeing this I had to chip in. The "advice" I give is likely to come across as little cliche and not terribly helpful, but it should be something to mull over at least. Anyway:

I could easily say that sixteen years is too young to be having those sorts of feelings towards other people, but to do so would be utterly hypocritical; I don't think ANYONE has gone through their teen years without feeling like you are right now. With that said, you need to ask yourself; are you absolutely *certain* these are "true" feelings and not just brought on by adolescence? I was in a similar position to you a few years ago, when I was fifteen (I'm twenty-one now) and made a complete mess of things simply because I was unsure of myself.

I'd say leave it for a while, see how things go. Try to refrain from "coming out" in public until you're sure you're bi/homosexual, otherwise you'll likely just attract the wrong sort of attention and be worse off because of it (Going back to what I said a moment ago, when I "came out" at fifteen things went wrong for me; the girl rejected my advances and our friendship shattered). Give it a few months, or even a couple of years if you need, to let your hormones settle down and for your mind to clear. Go into it with a focused mind, rather than the befuddled one you seem to have now.

As others have said, people ARE likely to take the mick out of you, and you WILL encounter some ignorant pricks that form an opinion based on your sexuality alone. It's another reason you need to make sure your feelings are genuine; if you're not sure of it, then insults and cocky comments from people are the last ting you'll be able to deal with.

Hopefully I've made some degree of sense here, if not I'll be happy to try and elaborate a little on anything I've said. I'd hate to have made things worse.

[steweygrrr]

What she said. Be certain that this is the way you feel before you say anything. This'll sound condescending only being 21 meself but kids can be vicious and have a nasty habit of branding people. That kind of stigma can follow you through life so make sure that is truly how you feel and be ready to defend yourself because there is always one tard with an agenda....

[Lexxuk]

I would have to agree with the above post. At 16 you really are rather young, your body has gone through a lot of changes, and its one of those weird quirks of life that most people experiment sexually with their own sex during college/university years, before actually finding their own sexuality.

The feelings you are feeling towards your friend does not actually mean you are gay, its quite natural to have feelings towards someone you feel close to, and if you are currently unsure of your sexuality you could just be feeling something which isnt actually there.

I would though say that the Internet Forums are really not a good place to talk about these things, in fact they are probably one of the worst places to discuss it.

If you want advice and information, try http://www.brook.org.uk or you can even phone them in confidence on 08000 185023, at least I think that is their number. They are trained in what they do, will have listened to hundreds of people in your situation and will be able to help you with information and advice.

[Seven]

At 16, you're going through alot of changes, body AND mind.

Wait it out and let your hormones settle down a bit, may take some time, but you'll be glad you did.

My Wife's niece was going through the same thing, she thought she was bi, but found out she isn't and likes guys.

She was 15 at the time and it took her a good year or so until those feelings changed.

Good luck. :)

[-=Dredduk=-]

ok il wait until the end of school so i have a while to make up my mind

thanks you all have been really helpful

[Lexxuk]

To be honest dude, its not something you need to think about, just take things easy, try the brook service and they might give you some leaflets or something you can read which would probably explain what your going through. I mean, I guess you dont wake up one morning and think "oh, i'm gay!" so it is a long process to discover your own sexuality.

[triXter]

As said before, the age you are in often contains uncertanties regarding the sexuality.
Many people even have sexual relationships with the same sex even if they turn out not to be homosexual later. This is completely normal.
What you need to do is really to understand that you should not feel any shame or guilt whatsoever. There is nothing wrong with you and it's completely normal. Whether you are homosexual or not doesn't matter. You are still a normal person.

If your friends can't cope, f*ck 'em. A bit harsh yes, but you get my point. Ask yourself if you really want to be friends with someone who cannot accept you for who you really are.

If you wish to "flip the coin", it actually makes you special. You'll experience something they never will ;)

I wish you good luck.

[Social-Zero]

as long as you're not acting female i don't mind ! lol

[Spermy]

as long as you're not acting female i don't mind ! lol

O_o O_o

Wow... Predudice much?

[Mechanicus]

predudice as much as you can :)

[40$Poser]

I hate robots?

errr... lol

[Lexxuk]

as long as you're not acting female i don't mind ! lol

I have TM (C) and (R) on all insensitive comments on this forum ya know :p

[Spermy]

predudice as much as you can :)

Or alternatively, Learn some social skills! Meet People - Maybe women if ur lucky! Or, if ur into that sort of thing, guys too. Go out, Live life, Get laid!

See what social skills do for ya? Amazing ain't it?

[giga191]

well have you ever fancied a girl?

[Ascension]

well have you ever fancied a girl?
Or enjoy looking at girls still?

[giga191]

Chances are that you would have noticed by now if you fancied people of the same sex. I doubt it would be a one off
EDIT: Oh yeh and another point. I'm sure we have all had thoughts about sleeping with the same sex even if you didn't purposely think about it. It's like me saying "Don't think of a penguin right now"

[-=Dredduk=-]

Omg This wasnt me who posted this it was Blind "cough" i let him use my forum account to post the fight thing.

This proberly the way blind feels about nick (i know blind and nick in rl ;))


Amazingly the thread is popular so keep it open lol

[giga191]

Omg This wasnt me who posted this it was Blind "cough" i let him use my forum account to post the fight thing.


Amazingly the thread is popular so keep it open lol
I thought blind might have been called nick or something o_O . I knew that you 2 are friends in RL

[Nidhogg]

Omg This wasnt me who posted this it was Blind "cough" i let him use my forum account to post the fight thing.
Yeah, I believe you. May I remind you that you are responsible for anything posted on your account, whether it was you who typed it or not.

N

/edit - if I find that "blind" is a banned user you're going to be in some serious hot water young fella me lad.

[-=Dredduk=-]

lol ^_^ i edited my post


Blind is called ross :P in RL

So i bet Ross likes Nick alot or he wouldnt of posted this ;)

I know them both and they do get on a bit too well together in RL

;)



Yeah, I believe you. May I remind you that you are responsible for anything posted on your account, whether it was you who typed it or not.


Ok :D



/edit - if I find that "blind" is a banned user you're going to be in some serious hot water young fella me lad.

Blind? Im Dredduk

[giga191]

/edit - if I find that "blind" is a banned user you're going to be in some serious hot water young fella me lad.
Nah he's not banned