TheGreatMilenko
04-08-04, 08:51
was posted on gamefaqs forum that was taken from those weird sites
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children.
-Modern parents have six kids? Ever heard of a condom? Or birth control?
To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with.
-You bought them a Compaq? Why didn't just take one of the free ones from the dumpster? People throw them out all the time!
The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well.
-If you're kid's idea of fun is Microsoft Word, slap him in the back of the head and give him a GameBoy!
I was content to bow to her experience as a mother,
Did you guys hear that? It sounded like the crack of a whip. Schwing!
until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"
-If he believes everything his youngest daughter says, then I guess he believes that there ARE monsters in her closet and clowns under her bed.
I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.
-If your child's old enough to hack a computer, he's to old to get a "spanking."
Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL.
-AOL's just like Microsoft. It's all about world domination and the enslavement of the human race.
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
-Flash!? Flash!? Ok, this guy's opinion no longer matters! And Bonzi Buddy is annoying as hell!
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.
-RACIST **** HEAD! AMD is American, and sold in stores!
Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
-Would you rather have her sneak out wearing nothing but a g-string and a tube top with a mini skirt?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.
-Yea, I "DOS" all of the time! It's so much fun! ^_^ </sarcasm> WHAT A ****ING DUMBASS!
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed.
-The game?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
-Or you can just tell him to lay off the 'shrooms!
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children.
-Modern parents have six kids? Ever heard of a condom? Or birth control?
To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with.
-You bought them a Compaq? Why didn't just take one of the free ones from the dumpster? People throw them out all the time!
The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well.
-If you're kid's idea of fun is Microsoft Word, slap him in the back of the head and give him a GameBoy!
I was content to bow to her experience as a mother,
Did you guys hear that? It sounded like the crack of a whip. Schwing!
until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"
-If he believes everything his youngest daughter says, then I guess he believes that there ARE monsters in her closet and clowns under her bed.
I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.
-If your child's old enough to hack a computer, he's to old to get a "spanking."
Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL.
-AOL's just like Microsoft. It's all about world domination and the enslavement of the human race.
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
-Flash!? Flash!? Ok, this guy's opinion no longer matters! And Bonzi Buddy is annoying as hell!
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.
-RACIST **** HEAD! AMD is American, and sold in stores!
Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
-Would you rather have her sneak out wearing nothing but a g-string and a tube top with a mini skirt?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.
-Yea, I "DOS" all of the time! It's so much fun! ^_^ </sarcasm> WHAT A ****ING DUMBASS!
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed.
-The game?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
-Or you can just tell him to lay off the 'shrooms!