View Full Version : [OT] onoz.... gamerz are considered hackers :(
onoz! Everyone who listens to trance and plays video games has been deemed a hacker by legitimate parents o_O
read it all here (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html)
Have a good laugh!
What a fuck load of bullshit.
How can one person be so self absorbed, jeez I want to beat his ass I'm very glad i'm not his kid.
Dad: Son, do you play quake?
Son: Yes dad why?
Dad: Do you know how to assemble an M16 Blindfolded?
Son: um...dad....are you a fucking looney?
Dad: Your a hacker aren't you!
Seriously, name me one hacker that kills people, name me one hacker (read hacker not script kiddie) that causes real damage.
Syntax-Error
18-06-04, 18:05
i think its a piss take. if it isnt.. my god
sanityislost
18-06-04, 18:10
Hahahaha OMG that was cool, funny how he thinks all hackers are male.
SiL ..:..
this is so fawkin old, about 3 years old... and durr its fake.
that HAS to be a piss take, if not it's the most misinformed bunch of bullshit about hackers i've EVER seen.
if it's a piss take then it's soo stupid it's actualy funny
this is so fawkin old, about 3 years old... and durr its fake.
I remember seeing the quake thing in someones sig.
I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. :lol: :lol: .
Yah the that top ten list came out when Quake was first released. So its a bit old. :p
It's a joke, isn't it ?
BSD (http://www.bsd.org), Lunix (http://www.lunix.com), Debian (http://www.debian.org) and Mandrake (http://www.mandrake.com) are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system (http://www.lunix.com), invented by a Soviet computer hacker (http://www.goldeneye.com/julian/boris.html) named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix (http://www.xenix.org)", which was written by Microsoft (http://www.microsoft.com) for the US government (http://www.usflag.org).
Or are they idiot ?
Gator etc hacker soft lol
the new line of advanced hacker today hacked the pentagon
he dodged the firewall with his comet cursor, proceeded to use his bozai buddy to filter the passwords and finally used flash to finish the system..... experts were baffled how they missed such potent tools
FireWarrior
18-06-04, 18:33
welcome to the ABCPO - Anti BrainCell Parental Organisation.
That is sooooo hillarious!
It's been posted on these forums before, ages ago, and yes its a joke :lol:
no all its a spoof of overprotective parents. read the replies to see the windoze ppl laughing at the slashdot0rz for getting all worked up over it. still its funny because you begin to think its a real parent until the end when u are like... hmm this cant just cant be this stupid
and yes its old, i just posted it to surprise some of you younger folks who were in diapers when i was raping at quake 1
omg r u kidding me is this for real, lol funny shit " AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips." now thats just funny lol........still reading and it gets better with evry sentance i read ....... :D
"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers." - now this some shit, and nc is online virtual world used by 1337 |-|4ck3rz w00t
greendonkeyuk
18-06-04, 18:44
its a windup and its funny reading how many muppets actually fell for it in the comments section following the article. everyone knows the best hackers are the ones youve never heard of.
tomparadox
18-06-04, 18:46
what that hell O_o...
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD" (http://www.amd.com), this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD (http://www.amd.com) is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips (http://www.intel.com). They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor (http://s1.amazon.com/exec/varzea/ts/exchange-glance/Y01Y3117867Y3420222/adequacy-20) makers, such as Intel (http://www.intel.com), use to prevent hacking. AMD (http://www.amd.com) chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0415900042/adequacy-20). ok... That is a bunch of bullshit... im not a big fan of amd and thats a bunch of bullshit still... was this lady on drugs? O_o
6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks (http://www.jpfo.org/triggerlocks.htm) installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
this is by far, the stupidest thing, every posted on the internet...
edit:
Help me. I listen to burnt CD's with stolen MP3s I got from KaZaA. And I use Tribes2 as a meeting place to "chat" with my hacker gang. @home IS my ISP so maybe I should change it to the better and faster AOL. I dont know any more. I think I will kill myself if my parents found out. Pleas. help me. I dont have many friends in the real world becaus they dont like the fact I told them I would hack the schools computers to change their notes. but. they are goodie goodies. and dont want me too.
Plz. help me.
rofllmao
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
LINUX IS DA BOMB!!!11111oneoneonelindows
It is a joke story.. I mean look at some of the other stories on the page.
"Milosevic Goes Free, Thanks to Godwin's Law!"
It's quite obvious this is a funny joke guys, calm down! :angel:
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
Gotta get them kids working somewhere right? :p :wtf:
Damn those knock off AMD processors for outperforming the mighty Intel! ;)
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
hahaha...
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
Alpha-Omega
18-06-04, 19:26
ROFLOL! I actually thought this guy might be serious!! Reminded me of that hyper-typical example of what happens to those subjected to the American fear-culture. No, seriously, compare American TV with other nations TV channels. Hell, compare the ammount of shootings in USA to Canada, an Canada is still an armed society. No offense to any Americans but if this was true i would be ROLFLMAO and once i recovered i would be writing one very nicely worded reply to him pointing out all the flaws in his arguement one at a time and take MASSIVE pleasure in it. Did it to MAVAV and never heard a peep from them LOL. Guess MAVAV dont like being fed their own medicine from a politely worded e-mail from one of those people they view as a reprobate of society and believe me, it was polite, no screaming or slagging off and they just clammed up HEHE. hate to say it but I can't help but see the funny side, its these people that give America its bad reputation, just like beckham and posh *Haulk SPIT!* and all those goddamn football thugs are a bad example of what brits are REALLY like.
{MD}GeistDamnit
18-06-04, 22:28
WOW, what a load of crap. That self richeous son of a bitch has to be the most pompus inane drone I have ever had the displeasure of reading. I read the entire thing and can say it is not a piss take, there are actually people like that in the world. Can someone help me by telling me the proper word for people like that guy ? and no not a curse, a classification. Calling him every name in the book in my mind has not made me feel any better about sutch people.
I mean who the fuck does he think he is ? Jesus, Ghandi, the greatest fucking saint and parent in the world? Fuck him seriously him and anyone like him and their small minded opinions about how much better "their values" are than the rest of the "godforsaken" world. They are the same morons that think there is gonna be an end to the world soon :/
Asurmen Spec Op
18-06-04, 22:36
OMFG I am guilty of all the things on those 10 exept the manual!
l337 h@x0r and I didnt even know it wooot!
umm, if that was written when Quake first came out (in like what, '94?) then the statement about the AMD is not entirely innacurate... early AMD chips were shit, I personally don't trust anything up to and including the K-6...
I do like it how they think all hackers are boys *Whistles innocently and looks other way*
Also, they describe Raver clothes and say that they're 'hacker' when was the last time you met a raver that could hack? Especially a day-glo candy kid e-tard type raver?
PS: if you used Quake to train to fire a real gun, you'd end up hurting
yourself or breaking your wrist with the recoil
ONOS I R 1337 HAXOR??//
Oh shit... It's the fuzz!
*runs*
Doc Holliday
18-06-04, 23:13
I remember seeing the quake thing in someones sig.
it was evs and i pissed myself so bad when i read it i might save it in my favourites for the crack. then who do u all know that if i can bookmark my faves im not a 1337 h4x0r myself :cool:
We can only hope that it was a gag....
IT'S A HOAX :p
it was never written seriously. It's a parody, sarcasm. Look how many of you got caught!
Did Ya Know.....the Best Hackers Are Actually Women!!!!
And Woman Are Actally The Best Snipers Out There!!!!
And Did You Know That Women Cant Die From Pain!!!!
And Did You Know.............
to be honest i think it could be a real guide for parents.
i believe that i saw this about 4 years ago.....i was only 10
erm...anyone, i think that i remember that quake is actually a hackers underground and not the game you are actually thinking of, quake was around before the actual game.
you could think of quake as an uplink meet up for missons.....
dark_reaper
19-06-04, 03:45
MuhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH, Hehehehehehehehehehehehe
Oh oh this shit was soo funy, AMD made in a third world country in the sweatshops. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Muhahahahahahahahaha, Heh heh heh
(Drops over Dead from too much laughter.)
"If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips."
Onoz!! I run knockoff's that were built in sweatshops :eek:
So difficult to resist the temptation to argue against the article.. I know its a hoax dammit. Very funny though, especially the parts about AMD and 'Lunix'.
satire
The comments are even better though.
I think the author should add a point:
Gullibility
Your son will find himself taken in by the simplest of jokes. He will spend his life confused and arguing with nobody.
IT'S A HOAX :p
it was never written seriously. It's a parody, sarcasm. Look how many of you got caught!
lol
Guess it's true, stupidity DOES reproduce. Sheep.
No comment fits enough to describe how fucking funny reading that is!
I'm so amazed people have time to write that, even as a joke or not a joke, your still plain fucking stupid, waisting your time on exactly, WHAT?
And Woman Are Actally The Best Snipers Out There!!!!
World distance sniping record beaten by a male canadian sniper in afganistan with a 2.43km range kill
sadly, he was using a US sniper rifle :o
World distance sniping record beaten by a male canadian sniper in afganistan with a 2.43km range kill
sadly, he was using a US sniper rifle :o
A US Sniper rifle? I wasn't aware that the US armories made any, except the Barret M-151 .50cal.
IMHO the best sniper rifles in the world are German H&Ks (The PSG-1 and the MSG-5) and British (The remmington's and Walthers)
and women aren't nessisarily better snipers, but they can be just as good... my friend Jamie is scary good with a pistol (she target shoots for sport)
funny stuff, linking to Clinton for political satire. Only thing is, its not written by an American, the spelling of behavior is, behaviour, the British way ;)
A US Sniper rifle? I wasn't aware that the US armories made any, except the Barret M-151 .50cal.
IMHO the best sniper rifles in the world are German H&Ks (The PSG-1 and the MSG-5) and British (The remmington's and Walthers)
and women aren't nessisarily better snipers, but they can be just as good... my friend Jamie is scary good with a pistol (she target shoots for sport)
M24 I think it is. It's in Delta Force 2, and the sniper rifle in Opposing Force is based on it. That's the standard issue US sniper rifle IIRC.
A US Sniper rifle? I wasn't aware that the US armories made any, except the Barret M-151 .50cal.
IMHO the best sniper rifles in the world are German H&Ks (The PSG-1 and the MSG-5) and British (The remmington's and Walthers)
and women aren't nessisarily better snipers, but they can be just as good... my friend Jamie is scary good with a pistol (she target shoots for sport)
http://www.wapahani.com/imageQD4.JPGModel 300
http://world.guns.ru/sniper/m650.jpg
RAMO M650
What fucking idiots who wrote that site omfg. I seriously want to put a cap in their fucking knees QUAKE IS A FUCKING GAME not a fucking hacking place. Wtf they mean if students have bad grades wtf is a hacking group O_o further more if someone uses a computer for more than 30 minutes doesn't mean shit. It's prolly some idiot fucking cunt mother who worries about every little thing.
A US Sniper rifle? I wasn't aware that the US armories made any, except the Barret M-151 .50cal.
I shoud have specified US-army issued sniper rifle. Most US army equipment is superior to canadian equipment (http://world.guns.ru/assault/as44-e.htm), although canadian equipment (http://www.sfu.ca/casr/101-ctac50.htm) doesn't necessarily suck either.
note - i was wrong, for the record kill they used the canadian tac-50 rifle, but they used a US army-issued bullet.
As far as sniper rifles go, its not where its made, its the person who is behind it.
All sniper rifles are made on the same priciple. Same basic intent.
Can we get away from the I > U thing... its annoying after a while. Love thy brother.
Lets get back on topic. Its about this parody. If you want to discuss rifles make another thread :)
Im american and i have no prob with the brits, scots, irish, canadians or anyone else who knows how to have a good laugh. It wasnt until neocron that I really saw just how much the rest of the world hates americans. Erm... lets get past it and get back to the PeeeKaY.
Magic Sausage
20-06-04, 10:08
I must have red this a dozen times...
I don't seem to get tired of it though :D
NS_CHROME54
20-06-04, 22:38
yes, i play quake 2 hours a day to practice with my BFG, developed by well-known weapons specialists John Carmack and John Romero. I also play half-life 3 hours a day practicing my snark-throwing, snarks being the brainchild of Cambridge biologists Doug Lombardi and Gabe Newell, developed for the MX and the Star Wars program, but stolen by the KGB and sold on the black market to Al-Queda, who used them to pilot aircraft for the 911 attacks.
Please come and arrest me, I feel so guilty.
QuantumDelta
20-06-04, 22:48
Too old.
Can't believe you haven't seen this already, jeez.
It was a hoax then, it's a hoax now.
NS_CHROME54
20-06-04, 22:55
i'm trying to find a point, but it continues to elude me.
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.
1) Shame its legal, and every court case against the free source operating system have failed.
2) Shame his real name is Linus Torvalds and he happens to be Finnish with Swedish as his birth-language
3) Shame that *nix is > Windoze by far
4) Xenix sucks
NS_CHROME54
21-06-04, 01:43
eventually microsoft is going to try and capitalize on linux, their incarnation of it will probably be called Winux (lindows is already taken). It is inevitable.
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